I live on a shadowed planet. The other humans on it are confused, angry, fearful, sad, and despairing. My friend told me that most people here are decent. And I replied, “ if most people here decent, why am I so afraid of people all the time, why do they seem so indecent?”
Before he could reply I answered my own question. I said, “of course they're afraid and angry and misguided. Many decent people feel powerless or they are not in power”.
Either way I feel powerless. I'm afraid of them. They misunderstand and they judge.
I live on a planet where humans often pass summary judgements on one another.
For example, our stories (often very valid!) are dismissed as lies, fakery, or drama.
My story falls among almost 8 billion other stories and I am in constant and continual comparison/competition with them. And a typical response to mine is usually, “I understand, but you also need to understand that…” And I still am left to my own devices.
Another example (typical symptom of economic unrest in America) is being judged as worthless or surplus because I am not part of the work force and have hidden disabilities. I often expect harsh judgements from the American population. When I receive understanding or an enlightened vibe, I can hardly believe it. I wish more people, like the latter, were in economic, social, and political power.
I would have more credibility and breathing room here and I am sure that more would get done.
Destructive and judgemental attitudes will destroy me in the short run, and humanity in the long run.
This will never fail to break my heart.
From beginning to end.
Abandoned cradle to lonely deathbed.
“I will never understand human behavior.”
Stop hurting.
Please.
---Carol E.
