So your walking through your life and it feels like every step that you take is like stepping on murky mud or even parts of who knows what...
And your like, "$HIT SON! IS THIS FOR REAL?!"
Do you 🅰️ Bottle it up and SELL IT later?
Or do you 🅱️ SPILL IT... and run the gambit now?
Because as soon as you decide either way they will have a very real (and possibly lasting) effect on what happens next. (Have you done either of these? You know what happens next then don't you!?)
People materialize out of the either... and they bring with them their perspectives, opinions, and advice. And they will tell you what they think even if you didn't ask for it!
...and this is why some people bottle it up for years and cut off their deeper thoughts and feelings. It's easier to live with the lights out than to switch them on for all those people looking in through the windows of your soul to see.
It's easier to clam up and take that stuff to the grave... but let's just hope it isn't an early one! YIKES! 😬
...right?!
So what this really boils down to is TRUST.
How do you know who to listen too and who NOT to listen to listen too?
Good question right?
And here's the thing that makes this whole business a sticky tricky one...
It all depends.
Constructive feedback is always something that should be welcome... but that doesn't always mean that it is coming from a credible source or is relevant to the direction you are heading in!
Also consider that you should never just give anyone and every space in your head. You need to authenticate and verify WHO gets to speak into your life... AND ABOUT WHAT!
Words are the life-spring of what makes us the sovereign and free individuals we are. People who can think for themselves and compose a wonderful and fulfilling life. THIS IS WHAT MAKES US ALL DISTINCTLY HUMAN!
Also consider this...
What might be relevant to one situation might not be relevant to your situation... and those giving you current advice are likely to NOT to have the FULL picture! They are actually giving you advice based on incomplete information and something from the past! (THEIR PAST!)
IT REALLY IS ALL ABOUT CONTEXT AND EVERY SITUATION IS RELATIVE.
But it is all to easy to give your power away... Thinking for yourself means that you have to take responsibility for what happens. It's easier to let others speak into your life than to self-actualize!
And if you listen to someone else's advice and they are wrong... It's not your fault right?! Or is it? Can you really blame someone else... when it's YOUR LIFE?
Another aspect to consider that only muddies the waters even more than they are already is your (and their) emotional states.
Often advice that's dolled out are really just mirror reflections of that persons own situation and bias. The advice that is offered is really advice that they are vocally giving to themselves... but they are giving it to you!
Deciding to listen to advice can really feel like a fine line that you are walking...
And in the end it's really up to you to determine if the advice has any barring on what you are doing, thinking, and wondering about. Life is all about HOW you solve the problems inherent in BEING ALIVE!
It is YOUR life.
And so you decide!
But be careful what you ask for! (And did you even ask for this advice?! 😉)
Exercising an inquiring mind is always a wholesome way to approach life's conundrums.
What is the difference between constructive and destructive input?
How do you know the difference?
By being OBJECTIVE.
Taking a step back to assess the situation and do a gut check.
All too often people resist advice and let's be honest! These days everyone is empowered with an internet connection... but that can also be diss-empowering too! Especially if you haven't taken the time to cultivate your own confidence with yourself!
This is exactly why stopping to do a gut check with yourself is so important... It's an opportunity to build trust, confidence, and self-reliance WITH YOURSELF FIRST... BEFORE LISTENING TO WHAT OTHERS HAVE TO SAY!
Stopping to asses advice, feedback, criticism, (all forms of input) is somethin you will thank yourself for doing... especially in a world where everyone is talking and few are listening!
We truly are inundated and it is a very noisy world out there!
That is why it is even more important to be in tune with your own self and to train your mind to first formulate your own thoughts.
But don't feel that you are carrying a weight that is too great for you! You are not! We are all more than capable of piloting our lives and making descions. Would you really want someone else to make these decisions for you? Would you want them to dictate to you what "truth" is? What's "right" and "wrong" for you?
I think we all know the answer to this...
And that is exactly why we need to cut ourselves some slack when navigating the unknown of the future!
Sometimes what appears to be a "mistake" is just a different frame of reference altogether right?!
For example: You can get advice about anything, everything, and from everyone these days but who you listen to is important (You were listening right?! hahaha!) and that is why you need to determine the credibility, competence, and relevance of who wants to influence your thinking.
AND THEN... there is the asymmetry and pace at which everything that is known is moving.
For example: These days the high cost of education is offset by the fact that once the information is compiled it is already redundant and outdated making what is not known more important than what is already known. Most of what's been compiled by experts (in their fields) becomes irrelevant and redundant the second it is published.
THIS IS WHY LEARNING HOW TO LEARN... LEARNING HOW TO THINK FOR YOURSELF... IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN EVER.
So it might be helpful to have a blueprint for how what's unknown becomes known don't you think?
Here's how knowledge flows...
- DATA
- INFORMATION
- KNOWLEDGE
- MISTAKES
- EXPERIENCE
- WISDOM
- SECRETS
- INTUITION
What people know (yes... all of those people with the "free" advice) and what YOU KNOW ranges through the entire spectrum... and is understood to differing degrees.
Here are the different stages of understanding. (We could also call this MASTERY!)
- Unconscious Incompetence
- Conscious Incompetence
- Conscious Competence
- Unconscious Competence
What people understand to be "truth" ranges on 2 planes...
To explain this further I have drawn this out so that it's easy to visualize.
Understanding. (Knowing what you don't already know.) is all about driving depth in your understanding of the world. (I believe the above blueprint depicts this nicely.)
If you look on the left of the grid you will see the levels of understanding. I like to think of these as the canyon walls. The canyon represents the known and the unknown. Driving depth in understanding has to go through each of these stratifications of understanding and the deeper you go the more likely you are to run into water (understanding.).
The bottom part of the grid depicts how wide your canyon (understanding) is on a subject. When your first making the attempt to learn something new your going to go from not knowing what you don't know (Unconscious Incompetence). Like someone groping in the dark you will feel for the sides of the canyon... and soon you will become Consciously Incompetent. Meaning you will come to the realization of the specific things that you do not know. This is the first step towards moving from Incompetence to Competence!
Next, you will then widen your understanding of the canyon becoming Consciously Competent. This is like when you first began driving. Remember that!? You could drive... but you sure didn't listen to the radio while you were on the road! But then you got a whole lot of experience (by making mistakes) and that experience forged into wisdom. You became Unconsciously Competent! It's why you can drive half-way across the city and not remember if you stopped at a traffic light or not! hahaha! 😂
This isn't where that level of Competence ends whoever... Have you ever met someone who could do EVERYTHING (I mean EVERYTHING!) but if you asked them to teach you HOW to do something they have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA how to teach you what they have already mastered?
A Master learns how to go from the subconscious state of mastery and becomes a student all over again... by learning how to teach others!
So where did I learn (some) of this from?
Two men I greatly respect.
My investment mentor Phil Town and previous to that Robert Kiyosaki.
Here's a picture of my wife, myself, and Phil at his ranch just outside of Atlanta, Georgia.
Robert has taught me so much about being a life-long learner and he is the man who actually inspired me to commit to daily investing in myself. I want to continue to explore, discover, and POKE THE UNIVERSE. (As Steve Jobs, another great man, said.) He taught me about the cone of learning... Have you heard of it?
I consider myself a New Pioneer, Entrepreneur, and an Value Investor. Those ways of being are all about understanding HOW to learn... and knowing WHO to listen to... and this, as it turns out, is a lot about your own confidence levels. (Knowing yourself and how you fit into the world around you!) Learning to trust yourself will help A LOT when it comes to differentiating WHO to listen to about WHAT!
For example... If I ask a barber if I need a hair cut (being bald I'm sure you all can understand my humor with this! 😅) a barber will always say that you need a hair cut. If you ask someone what you should do with YOUR money... they will always have a good "idea" for how to spend your money... on them! hahaha! 😆 You wouldn't ask a taxi driver for investment tips... but you would ask him how to navigate a London street!
See my point? What appears to one to be a mistake... might not actually be a mistake. The mistake might be asking (or caring!?) what someone thinks or fearing mistakes to the point where you go through life trying not to make them.
Developing competence, driving depth in your understanding, and becoming more sophisticated will develop higher and higher levels of self-confidence AND self-actualization. Add to that a wide breadth and depth (widen your canyon and make it deep!) of understanding and you might just be the one and only EXPERT in what you know and what you do. How can anyone "advise" you if you do that?
Now you are truly a New Pioneer!
I mentioned that I consider myself a New Pioneer (Identity Statement) and what this means to me is that I am willing to take the risks involved in blazing my own trail, going places I have not been before, becoming self-sufficient, and self-reliant, confident, and able to stand on my own two feet.
I am also a Comet Ranker (Identity Statement) and what this means is that I am someone who values listening (in the comments). I am someone who values what everyone says and is willing to give nearly everyone my ear... but I also am someone who can differentiate for myself what is relevant and valuable to me. What is valuable to me is building relationships with you guys and girls! This is why I continue to invest myself into the people who step forward and self-identify themselves with my values! This is why I continue to look for creative ways to compound trust with everything I do and it is why I value Social Capital BEFORE Financial Capital. I believe that it is classy to put people before financial gain... and I also believe that when you want more of something in your life... you freely give away the thing that you need or want. Support generates support... and Financial Capital flows naturally towards those who value and nature the relationships in their lives.
Once you have established the foundations of trust... ANYTHING CAN BE ACHIVED!
So that is all (almost!) from me today!
Buuuuut before I sign off I am going to leave you with one more diagram that I drew a few months ago...
What do you think about this diagram? Does anything I have shared with you make sense? Do you have questions about anything I have said? Or perhaps you have found this post thought provoking! Drop your comments down bellow!
P.S. Did you enjoy reading this post? Did it leave you wanting more? Discover more about deeper thought and how a single word can unlock your minds true potential! Your freedom is at stake... and information like this doesn't come around every day! Here's an AMAZING (and relevant) book written by Nicholas Carr about how the internet is changing and shaping our minds. If you give this book a read you will never look back!
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
There is so much in the works over at @Comet.Ranker HQ on DISCORD! This post ACTUALLY serves more of a purpose than just the written text found here... There is utility in this post!
THIS is the officially launch of another new engagement event by @Comet.Ranker called #WordPower! But to find out more about it you will have to head over to HQ on Discord and the only way to do that (as HQ is an invitation only destination) is to send me a direct message in the DM's! I am looking forward to hearing from you! AND remember... every WORD COUNTS! ☄️
DISCORD: wil.metcalfe#3506
👉 #CometCrew! Here is where to drop your Mission Reports!👈
