Disclaimer: The events as given are true as the only thing changed were the names of the parties involved.

Narration:

Roughly 30 minutes outside of Chicago, Illinois lies a satellite campus for Eastern Illinois University. The satellite campus is on the beautifully landscaped grounds of a community college. Most of the people attending the satellite want to finish their degree but don’t want to travel the distance to the actual school. On most days people show up for a little, learn for a little and go on their ways. This day wasn’t like the rest as lines were drawn and some would say their chances of success were thrown into the nearest wastebasket.

Setting:

It was a crisp fall day being just cool enough for a light sweater but comfortable enough to just sit outside. Sometimes before going into class I’d stand outside of the building enjoying the less polluted suburban air. After going into the class the professor says after our halfway break we will be grouped with others for our final presentation. I need to give you a bit of depth to the professor and the class itself. The class was political science and the professional that we will refer to as Ken believed in sensationalism, anything is debatable and nothing is as it seems. With that being said, everyone knew who they did not want in their group as most people would be just fine for this project. Those people were Old Man Gunner and Casino Casey.

Characters:

Old Man Gunner: (absolute perv and believes he can say and do as he pleases)

Casino Casey: (middle aged woman who sleeps through 90% of classes and said she is trying to be a positive role model for her children)

Professor Ken: (well known political strategist, professor, and envelope pusher for things that make sense)

Carrie: (extremely likeable, highest GPA and everyone is appreciative of her as a person)

Larry the Librarian: (also a very likeable guy sometimes a bit too meticulous)

Jacob: (just a guy trying to finish his undergraduate studies)

Class: (mostly people there to get their job done and be over it all)

The Typical Class Day

Old Man Gunner: Hey Carrie or other girl stand up again I like the print on those pants from where I’m sitting.

Class: Are you f*cking kidding me? Remember he’s just an old senile man. He doesn’t know what he’s saying.

Jacob: You guys are idiots and so what if he is old he is a sick guy.

Jacob: Casey wake up I know sleeping through life is your thing but the professor says he’s got something of importance to say.

Ken: I want everyone to give a 15-minute presentation as your final. I want topics that jump off the page.

Ken: Alright let’s get you into groups of four.

Let’s go with Carrie, Gunner, and person A as well as person B.

Well it looks like our last group is going to be three people. That leaves Jacob, Larry, and Casey.

Jacob: Deep in thought but not aloud – are you f*cking kidding me?

Carrie: Deep in thought but not aloud – are you f*cking kidding me?

Larry: Deep in thought but not aloud – are you f*cking kidding me?

Gunner: Her ass is getting bigger by the day. Good heavens.

Casey: Zzz.

From there everyone had five minutes to come up with a topic. I came up with the topic of former prostitutes giving back to the community as child daycare providers.

Larry quickly says they are presenting the reason why everyone should be allowed to carry a gun in school.

This would be the beginning of the end for some. From this day we had at least 4 weeks to prepare which is more than enough time.

Image Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

RE: Cat World