You care too much!
Those were the words that my daughter said to me today. As I continue to struggle a little with the current situation I find myself in. I found it really difficult to go to sleep, seeing every hour, until 5 a.m. After which, I finally drifted off, with one of the cats curled up beside me, her purring lulling me to sleep.
I find it difficult when people are unable to just let both children and animals be. Expecting both to act a certain way and when they don't, then they lash out. Which is funny, cos when similar things happen with both the children and animals in their lives, they just brushed it aside. I guess it's a lot easier for them to just walk away and not get involved.
I struggle with that, because how can you have such expectations of others, but not when it comes to yourself. It's something that has been playing on my mind over and over. At the end of the day, I can't do anything about it only continue to live as I do.
But I see it all the time. How society places these expectations on others, when it comes to how they should behave. When children are a certain age they start to explore boundaries, this is done by them trying to push other peoples boundaries or by putting up their own, which may seem a bit too extreme to some.
My girls are pretty confident, they have no problem telling others what they like, or by being honest and saying if they wish to spend less time with others. I think its important, that they are aware of their needs and are able to express them. However, when they do so with kids who are taught to always please others, those kids can become offended. And then get upset. I have explained to my girls that its okay to want to be by yourself or indeed to need some space from others, we just have to also be sensitive towards those we speak to.
I understand why kids would get upset, but I also dont believe we should be forcing our kids to do thibgs they are uncomfortable with, because then what are we telling them. But I have had parents become upset with me as a result, some even refuse to listen to what I have to say. So I just have to walk away. But again what is this teaching our children.
It's not bloody easy being a parent, not when you want to do right by them. Of course my girls have to chores, which most of the time they don't want to do, but that's different, that's something that will actually help them become more independent, be more responsible. Because first they need to learn how to be responsible for themselves and that means honouring their feelings. Then we as parents, need to listen to them and honour how they actually feel.
I guess I've always been pretty good at picking up on subtle and not so subtle energies, I can see/feel when things may perhaps flare up. Mostly because we don't feel seen or heard.
And as us humans, tend to hold onto a lot. I often, can pick up on the heaviness that they carry, which I try not to take on.
This is exactly where I am right now. Trying not to take on the heaviness of someone else's suppressed feelings/emotions. Today after about 4 hours of sleep, I've been gentle with myself. Doing things that need to be done and things that I enjoy. I've listened to music, hung out with girls, done some sewing and remembered to breathe.
