As I said before I'm going to try something different.
Step out of the comfort zone and roll with the flow.
I was working on another post and it just wouldn't work for me. Instead of spending days on that frustrating thing... Hashing over every flaw and picking at every mistake until I want to throw my computer across the room.
Tonight I went for a walk.
It was getting down to those hours of dusk where you can comfortably count the setting sun by degrees. Those strange almost surreal moments of the evening when everything seems to have slowed down to the pace of the crickets chirping.
As I walked through my own tiny little village in the middle of nowhere I could feel a change in my mood. Before I set out I was argumentative, a bit anxious and highly agitated. A strange mood for me to be in at any time and one I cant really place a cause to.
Even the sunflowers were feeling the mood.
Now as the sky above me turned down the colors by a notch I gradually let myself calm down. A few cigarettes and maybe a half mile later, the nicotine and smells of pending autumn had done their job.
I began to take note of scenes and images around these familiar areas for the first time. It sounds bizarre to say that for the first time in all the years I have lived here I noticed my surroundings.
The contrasts, the differences and the changes that had occurred over the last 16 years struck me. The people who we started our journey with and those of us who remained.
Modernized bungalows standing next to tumbledown farmhouses, planted fields next to endless miles of forest and fallow land.
The Sky. That endless incredible expanse above head that somehow seems to fade into the background. Becoming the stage for so many of our photos and stories.
Simple things, Everyday things. Still somehow taking on an atmosphere comparable to that of a church, or the holy grounds of our long gone predecessors.
Step by step.
One foot in front of the other.
This here's the village announcement board. Fetes, Local Parties and shindigs get put on here. I forgot how long its been since the covid times put a stop to those.
The feel of the road and grass under foot, the smell of corn and sunflowers slowly reaching their end of days, a mixture of decay and sweet ripeness, harvest time.
The contrast between the endless sky and the mixed concrete pillars and wooden poles holding the lines and lights that connect us to the outside world.
By Now I couldn't help but wonder if that same connectivity and Light on demand has been what's kept me from simply being in my surroundings all this time.
Or it could be simply because I never stopped to take the time to look around without a goal or purpose in mind.
Always somewhere to go, something to do, a reason or purpose behind my comings or goings.
Tonight I can say that I looked, I listened and simply put, I was there.
While being there in itself didn't make my surroundings special, it made me appreciate how special my surroundings were.
I took the time to actually see the small corner of the world I live in and appreciate it for what it was.
Flawed, Humble and in a word beautiful.
Life and death at every turn.
Here in this small village we are slowly turning away from a history that will soon be forgotten into a more modern and accessible way of life.
The local patois or regional dialect is fading, The empty houses are gradually falling back into the earth they were constructed from. The simple pleasures of our forebears are being replaced with instant achievable wants rather than hard won needs.
But for now, In this moment I'm going to stop. Listen to the screech of the owls and the wind pushing the cobs of corn from their final perch to the earth where some will surely seed and grow next year.
Watch the sun gradually give way to the stars, moon and the occasional street lamp.
I will enjoy this brief moment of clarity before I return to my old reality.
That up there is the end of my walk, that street light marks the entrance to my home, and my family.
I am slightly sad that my little walk has ended for now, but the fact that I have a home and my family to return to makes the return an equally happy occasion.
This is strange to write about, and perhaps I cant really describe what this felt like for me. I am not a changed man, I haven't become wiser or a better person for taking a walk.
I am simply more aware of what's around me. For that I am grateful.
Sometimes the smallest things can be viewed from a different angle, even a dried out old weed on the blacktop. In that lies the true beauty of what I learned tonight.
Well I'll be completely honest, this was not the post I thought I would be putting up tonight but here it is anyway. Day 2 of My post a day challenge, Still going, Still making an effort.
Today I decided I'm going to have a bit of fun on this 30 posts in 30 days. I'm going to do a post 31, and a giveaway on the 31st post, cause some months have 31 days or so I've been told.
In spite of my rough and ready appearance I'm an Antique dealer don't ya know.
So it'll probably be old shit in your mailbox.
Stay tuned engage down below . For every post from day 1 you comment on you will get one entry and a chance to win.
Then at the end of the 30 posts, on day 31 There will be a random raffle with a chance to win....
Really cool old shit.
Ill call that a win. Thanks for making it down here and have a good one.