Since the year is about to end, I lately have the habit of checking up who I used to be. Thanks to blockchain, I get to read everything about me in the past vs the present me.
From what I gather, these days, I don’t get to say I enjoyed sipping coffee in the morning, waking up to some form of a routine, enjoying the weather, speaking gratitude and writing it. In a nutshell, my life was way more “zen” than it is today. But I kinda like some aspects of my current life.
These days, the moment I wake up and the moment I go to bed, there’s always something to work on. Now, I don’t even make my coffee anymore. I always rely on Starbucks because it's convenient and the place that they offer is way better than working inside my room. It's as if I suddenly associate my room as some sort of living hell in comparison to before when it was my safe haven.
I feel that these days, I don’t have the freedom as I used to, to speak freely, to ramble, to just let me write something or what I think about our current political climate and what have you. Maybe these days I just choose to discuss it discreetly instead of openly.
Another thing that changed this year and the previous year that made me so grateful is that I was someone who
used to only spend 25$/month all inclusive. I had an old phone, no proper internet, not even a tablet, no investment, nothing. If I bought some unnecessary shit, definitely, I would be starving for the next several days. Back in the day, not eating was something easy.Rambling day 6
To today, I have almost everything I wanted including a business and some side hustles. Another thing that I notice is that instead of saying I wanted to die from the last couple of years, I want to live.
Perhaps, that’s the turning point that changed everything in my life. From someone who used to get near-death accidents each year to someone who is thriving and living somewhat healthy. Now, you can say, I am not that suicidal anymore and I have more reason to be living these days.
I started crossing my bucket lists and there’s some of them that I haven’t managed to get this year. Maybe soon, the following year.
So maybe it’s not the same. I am not the same. I am happier and I feel better about myself, my living condition, and the people around me. I now have the courage to do more, to face the things that life may throw at me for I have been in the deepest and darkest moments of my life. Mac