07:45
Arrived at work for hump day deployment. It's the Wednesday that comes before the Thursday that comes before the Friday that comes before the rest of a my four day weekend. Full of vigour annoyance because I didn't sleep well...but knowing I have a four day weekend just on the horizon helped with my bad mood positively work-averse attitude.
07:55
Breakfast shake consumed, coffee being sipped and computer starting up. Beginning to feel a little better and more tolerant of the fact I'm at work. Should make the most of it, get what I can accomplished then strategize and prioritise a solution for that which isn't sorted. A good plan, I think, as the juices of goodness slip down my throat; I mean coffee folks. I feel a tiny spark of motivation.
09:35
Take back all the quasi-positive things I said above and declared war on everyone.
09:37
Ok not everyone, just the asshole who supplied me the wrong information causing me to lose an hour and a half trying to build a customer's quote based on the wrong information and, furthermore, the wastage of a couple of hours yesterday spent gathering supplier quotes to help build mine went down the gurgler also. Asshole!
09:43
Deep breathing has calmed me down (a little) and I'm doing the only thing I can do; I've started all over again. I wonder if this is how J. Robert Oppenheimer felt as he led the way towards the creation of the atomic bomb and had to deal with the frustrations of a colleagues' failure. Atomic bomb...Hmm, I wonder if someone would lend me one so I can drop it on the aforementioned assholes head...Just a little bit.
09:44
Big sigh.
10:30
Mid-morning snack and coffee. Feeling almost close to maybe thinking about feeling potentially perky. Possibly.
12:45
I'm thinking about lunch, the weekend, donuts, boobs and just a little about the complex quote I'm almost finished, for the second time. I'll email it to the customer and follow up with a phone call but for the moment, donuts and boobs.
12:46
Still boobs.
12:47
Umm...yep, still.
13:10
Lunch...Celery and carrot sticks and a tiny can of tuna fish. Fuck my life.
Frustration through trustation
Today has been a frustrating day. I trusted that a colleague would perform his duties effectively and accurately which would permit me to do the same however it wasn't to be.
The technical information, figures and drawings were a shambles and it forced me to back-track from an almost completed quote all the way back to the beginning for a do-over. I managed to make it work and get the quote to my customer within the specified time; thankfully an ethos of under-promising leaves me the opportunity to over-deliver, or deliver on time in this particular case, but it was frustrating all the same and leaves me questioning that person's work standards and the degree of trust I've put in him.
I've always been one to back myself, to do the work and own it when I fail; I expect those around me to do the same. I work hard and have a high operational tempo when it comes to achieving objectives, and (foolishly) expect the same from others I guess....I also get really fucking annoyed when people don't deliver on their promises, especially when it affects my own ability to perform.
Today wasn't an easy one and I'll need to address the situation with a atomic bomb meeting...I'll wait until I'm not frustrated and annoyed though. It's best that way, trust me.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
The image is my own