Last night was one of the worst night's sleep I've had in a long time. I couldn't fall asleep at first because of my overactive mind, so ended up doom-scrolling for a while, listened to music for a while, thoughts some thoughts, felt some feels and then I started getting highly annoyed with myself. It happens. Like the first time you read Romeo and Juliet and you just want to change the horrid tragic ending but you're powerless to do so? That kind of annoyed.
Then I told myself to stop being a whiny little bitch and I put on a monotone meditation narrated by a guy that used to be really good at helping me fall asleep. Last night though? A whole different kettle of fish as it turns out. I fell asleep sure enough, but I had my earphones in and I was definitely very consciously aware of what he was saying because I was having a full on argument with him in my sleep. Not just in my head or dreams either. I was actively arguing with him - audibly. Which is weird, I know. I remember getting so angry with the guy that I woke myself up, yanked out my earphones out of my ears and flung them across the room in disgust. So out of character for me, but he had obviously pushed some serious buttons. The bastard! How dare he? lol.
Needless to say, I also had some rather screwed up dreams of things past that I'd rather not relive. I woke up feeling frumpy and grumpy, which anyone that knows me probably would know is not a good combination. I don't take it out on anyone but myself though because I'm not that guy. Fuck that guy by the way!
I went about my [late] morning rituals which included coffee and meds in the hope that the combination might help relieve some of the irritation which was swirling like a tornado inside of me. Inner turmoil is not a great sidekick, but we all have that from time to time, no matter how stoic you may seem.
The day progressed and my mood improved when I ended up having a really pleasant conversation with a complete stranger in the parking lot of the local supermarket about clothing. I had complimented her on the chainmail type looking crocheted pullover she had on. She was lovely and it was a nice interaction.
It's just something about me. I enjoy giving people compliments when I see something that is nice or that suits them. I have no reservations about it whether it be a stranger or a close friend - being kind is a simple thing and who knows, maybe once in a while that person might have been having a really bad day and needed to hear those kind words just then? That's just how I live my life. I like the simple things. Strangely enough, that conversation in the parking lot made a difference to me too. Perhaps I needed it more than she did, who knows.
I then bought myself some spoils because I needed to. They consisted of chicken & cheese nuggets to stuff my face with on the drive home and some hair dye. I missed the opportunity for a free hairdo the other day so I figured screw it, I'll do it my goddamn self.
I'm still frustrated, annoyed and sleep deprived but hey, I have coffee, chocolate and hair dye. It's enough.
How do you get yourself out of a mood when you're irritated as fuck?