I don't know about this one. I mean I know what it's about, that's not what I meant, I mean I'm not sure how to go about it—fiction. Should probably go with fiction that way I can say 'it was fiction' if someone hurts a feeling—nonfiction. Commodious. If you mix nonfiction with funny, it's not only socially acceptable to hurt a feeling but encouraged aannndD Action!

_{See what I mean?}

I have quite a few nice shots collecting dust in my photo album. They're taking up space in this device, too, that's unnecessary. I have infinite blockchain space for aforementioned imagery.

_{Images - GoPro Black / PhonePro Pink}

On one! On one! For the next plus or minus 10 minutes I'll be attaching random or intentional photos organized or in no particular order that are or are not affiliated with the non genre specific story and/or fairytale you're about to be completely consumed by like experimental science - Readdyyyyyy....

Break!

Golfito Bay, 20 miles north of the Panamanian border. Pura took off to Columbia for the weekend with some girlfriends from yoga—ladies night. I went across the street for dinner, it's a sail club bar & grill on the water. As the hostess seated me, I was invited to join a party of three across the restaurant; a Russian, a Swede, and a Hungarian. Three people I'd never met.

That's what traveliving's all about—first hand culture experience. Four expats, corner table overlooking the bay at sunset, each from a different heritage enjoying a meal together.

It was the Swedish dude who said in his European accent, "Tizn't chew'only mate, all Mericano's, yea, are geographically challenged, yea." He said geographically challenged which in my country could be perceived abrasive but this is that culture thing I can't get enough of—love it! He means no disrespect, 'geographically challenged?'

An American, mios, a Russian, one of the coolest people I met during that two year adventure by the way, we remain in close contact. A Swede, he's about to serve up humble pie and, lastly, the Hungarian—sweetheart. She's taller than me, 6-2'ish, brown hair, speaks excellent English—Hungary. When she mentioned Vienna, the American who knows it's somewhere in a country called Austria but couldn't point directly to it on a map interrupted in typical American fashion, 'where's Vienna?'

They got a good laugh outta that one. Like sniffing out a dirty laundry hamper, they knew where Vienna was. I didn't know it at the time but asking a Hungarian where Vienna is is like asking a New Yorker where New Jersey is.

They know the coordinates, surrounding provinces, make and model of Austria's flag and their Landesträte. Moreover, they can tell you every country flag in Europe as well as country flags around the globe and if you asked "where's Madagascar?" They'd all three say north of Sri Lanka.

_{No they would not}

They'd say it's an island in the Indian Ocean off the coast of South Africa and, if you accepted Sri Lanka at face value, I'm familiar with your indoctrination system, pay attention. Pura and I lived abroad two years making sense of it.

Denmark—the D one, we know that much. Where it's located and their country colors however, it's on the other side of the Atlantic somewhere near the top of Europe. Capitol and Flag? Not without google. I've mentioned oceans before, "Indian Ocean" for example or "Baltic" and "Arabian Sea." Don't expect us to point'em out. Atlantic / Pacific, two.

Embarassing. I gave myself a crash course in European and Commonwealth of Nations geography before our arrival to prevent asking a Turk where Kurdistan is. Smellin what I'm steppin in?

I know where not to go. We spent as much time covering "homicidal dictators" around the world as we did state flags, state flowers, their birds, local governors and judicial proceedings. Unnatural concepts, too, like balancing a checkbook by age 10, military prep courses in junior high school and two years of government theory before receiving a diploma.

Capitol of Kansas? Topeka. Capitol of Nicaragua? Phone a friend. But I know why we avoid it. Same reason we steer clear of Mexico, Panama, Columbia, and anything south of Tijuana—drugs, violence, human-trafficking. Cartel's down there, stay home or die.

The four of us talked about Mexico, too, only the Russian had never been. The Hungarian and Swede didn't mention cartels, instead they explained the difference between European and American Spanish. I learned to fear Mexico, they embraced it.

"What'bout me coouuuntry?" The Russian asked in his deep, Putin sounding, Soviet cigar smoking voice. He's a funny dude. I told him we know all about the KGB, USSR and how Russians are malicious spies, etc Cold War, all the stuff in my old textbooks. I'm so entertaining I had the table laughing without even trying like Fox noose trying to spLeL lose.

Iraq, Iran, the whole Middle East around the Persian Gulf for obvious reasons. We've been booing the Iranian flag at sold out venues across the country since Iron Sheik got Hulk Hogan in a Camel Clutch on WWF or WWE or WTF ever it's called. 🇮🇷

When my friends learned we were going to Israel they got nervous, "dude it's a war zone over there!" Pura's family was genuinely concerned for our safety when they learned we were staying in Palestine. One of my friends asked if I was on a death wish, 'huh?' 🇵🇸 I've since heard things like "I'd love to see the pyramids some day but it's too dangerous." 'Huh?'

We were schooled by the same textbooks. Can't think about an iconic ancient Sphinx without thinking about Africa, Libya and the Gaddafi days or Somalia. 🇪🇬 Don't go there! Stay home. If Americans were aware a round trip between Morocco and Spain is $48 we'd question American Airlines for charging us $480 for the same mileage. 🇺🇸

Corralled north of the Mexican Gulf, bordered by the Atlantic and Pacific seas all but erases opportunity to experience European, Middle Eastern, and Asian cultures where things like siestas are required and holidays are mandatory. Our school teacher friends in England are required to "holiday" 30 days a year. Their colleagues as well, it's a British thing and those 30 days are paid. Plus they're school teachers so they have summers off too. Paid. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

We don't call it holiday over here, time off state side is called "vacation." A holiday is 1-3 scheduled days of national celebration where the majority of America doesn't work and a fraction receives compensation. It's uncommon for an American to receive more than 14 vacation days per calendar year and very few (guessing less than 10%) are compensated those days. Also, we have to make up those 14 days prior to vacation by working double-shifts and weekends or we'll lose our medical coverage.

Makes it difficult to go anywhere. What ends up happening is Americans either can't afford vacation or aren't willing to jeopardize medical coverage so we splurge by extending a few weekends by two or three days each year. Less than half of my friends have ever had a passport and they don't plan on getting one, "America's the best, everything I need is right here." We measure distance in minutes so vacationing somewhere that requires two days travel time on a five day budget makes traveling outside the U.S impractical.

Time, that's another one. It was a Scottish chap I met at a pub in Wales who pointed down the street to Conwy Castle, "how'fer out's that, mate?" 'Less than five minutes.' He explained Americans always see distance in time whereas he saw "two kilometers." I can poll anyone back home in California how far it is between Hollywood and Santa Monica and they'll all say something like "30 minutes without traffic." Americans measure distance in time.

Makes it difficult to enjoy free time when you're constantly competing against the clock. Difficult like trying to find the finish line each time I post in the rant channel. <-- Had I not changed that just now, autocorrect would've allowed me to say rent channel. 🏁

That last one's Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Who would've known if I didn't clarify? Not Mardi Gras, I mean that is Mardi Gras, that's not what I meant. What I meant was the stuff about airfare pricing, distance seen in time, fearing North Korea, stationary between two oceans and not knowing the difference between New Orleans and Zimbabwe.

Or Cambodia and Hong Kong. Moscow, Buenos Aries, Cozumel, Haiti, Bali, Sydney, Georgia and not the one next door to Alabama, either, Georgia north of Armenia but we know what time the game starts on Sunday and whose jersey Kim Kardashian's wearing - Readdyyyyyy....

Break!