Soft Ass Attention Whores

Hello! It's me again. :knuckles: In todays edition of this will either go over smoothly or not so much like a glory hole in church we'll be addressing Comedy and Halloween Costumesβ€”BOO!! Soft Ass Attention Whores are people who get offended by either or both and, rather than ignore either or both, are driven to destroy everyone involved.

Even Pura questioned me for a minute, caught me off guard, she gave me that look. The one where if I didn't explain myself her face could get stuck.

It wasn't the comedy special that did itβ€”eye to eye on that one. It's when I laughed out loud about the Halloween costume she lost it. "Halloween" and "costume" should by all accounts have no argumentative nature in tandem. The other night, however, that wasn't exactly the case. We agreed to disagree and called it a night.

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Dave Chappelle is one of my favorite comedians. I've seen all of his specials. He and George Carlin engineered the gap between acceptable and reprehensible. They both understand (understood) they can say whatever they want as long as laughter outweighs the boo's.

He said that's his final performanceβ€”no more Netflix specials. Appropriately titled: The Closer. It's a good one. He explained in detail how he needs to hide again from public opinion because he can't say anything anymore without negative press at his doorstep.

It's a new era when #jokes are offensive. They're supposed to provoke thought and, if presented properly, make all but a few people laugh out loud. The realer the joke, the funnier. They're not weapons or instruments or movements or anything physical at all, they can be turned off like navigation. By definition a joke is:

π™Ήπš˜πš”πšŽ - πš—πš˜πšžπš— (πš“Επš”): πš‚πš˜πš–πšŽπšπš‘πš’πš—πš πšπš‘πšŠπš πš’πšœ πšŠπš–πšžπšœπš’πš—πš πš˜πš› πš›πš’πšπš’πšŒπšžπš•πš˜πšžπšœ, πšŽπšœπš™πšŽπšŒπš’πšŠπš•πš•πš’ πš‹πšŽπšŒπšŠπšžπšœπšŽ 𝚘𝚏 πš‹πšŽπš’πš—πš πš•πšžπšπš’πšŒπš›πš˜πšžπšœπš•πš’ πš’πš—πšŠπšπšŽπššπšžπšŠπšπšŽ πš˜πš› 𝚊 πšœπš‘πšŠπš–; 𝚊 πšπš‘πš’πš—πš, πšœπš’πšπšžπšŠπšπš’πš˜πš—, πš˜πš› πš™πšŽπš›πšœπš˜πš— πš•πšŠπšžπšπš‘πšŽπš 𝚊𝚝 πš›πšŠπšπš‘πšŽπš› πšπš‘πšŠπš— πšπšŠπš”πšŽπš— πšœπšŽπš›πš’πš˜πšžπšœπš•πš’; πšπšŠπš›πšŒπšŽ.

Some of the healthiest downvotes I've received were on a comedy piece. I never received an explanation so I'm still unsure why. I think it was one of two jokesβ€”douche bags who drive big trucks and have shirtless selfies for avatars or the atheist one.

More recently I did one about how I can't go anywhere in The South without being force fed Bible Belt propaganda. It's on every street corner here. Every freeway offramp, dinner menu, you name it. That one didn't earn any downvotes but I did lose three followers who subsequently ignored me. I even tagged #comedy and #joke.

Rather than ignore material in the unlikely event they're offended during his farewell Netflix comedy special like Christians, Jews, white people, comedians, the President, the Queen, Jesus and everyone else Dave Chapelle centers jokes around, the gay community is "outraged".

We watched the special. I loved it. She didn't think it was as funny as I did but enjoyed it nonetheless. The following morning I'm sipping coffee doing this, Pura's sipping coffee going through her Instagram. "That didn't take long" she said. In less than 12 hours since his special aired, she's reading me multiple headlines about Dave Chapelle should be banned from television and he's overpaid and how Netflix should be held accountable yata yata yata. My initial response was 'was it the Jewish joke?' He said "space Jews" twice. I thought maybe he pissed off the Jewish or Christian communityβ€”nope!

It's the gay community. I watched it myself. He said he envies gay people because it didn't take their movement long to gain traction amongst other things and the following morning reactions read like this. In the very beginning he said it's his final special and that is exactly why.

He said he envies gay people because when they don't want to be gay anymore, they can just be white again. The gay segment of his stand-up was over in less that 10 minutes. He closed that part of the show by saying something along the lines: It's white people I have a problem with not gay people.

Everyone wants to be part of something bigger today. Self satisfaction doesn't require a mirror anymore, all you need's a keyboard. Chapelle said he's leaving comedy because of all the negative publicity it's accompanied by today. Jokes can't just be funny anymore, they have to be innocuous and conform to each individuals sensitive personality.

The dude explained at length how he has nothing against the gay community, even went on to say he admires their momentum. If anything he's jealous, he said, because black people have been trying for hundreds of years to accomplish what the gay community did in under 10. I think Dave Chappelle is hilarious. He didn't wake up the following morning to a device loaded with positive notifications. Instead the community he envies is furious. Hashtag WhatAJoke.

My issue isn't everyone who's pissed off at Dave Chapelle, let'em, he's a performer. Everyone has the right to be upset about whatever they want. I either watch or don't watch, when he's done so am I. Point fingers at whoever for whatever, I genuinely care less than you can imagine.

My argument is where the fuck were all these people when Narcos was trending? A location scout was murdered by drug cartels while working for the set and nobody said anything, "the show must go on!" Pablo Escobar was the most talked about drug dealer in all the coffee shops for years. Children still idolize him. Hostile government takeoversβ€”popcorn time! Bank heists involving innocent people dying or plastic surgery nightmares about someone with too much money who wants a new butt crack is perfectly acceptable but don't crack jokes.

Sodomy, kidnapping, how I became a killer, inside the mind of a predatorβ€”perfectly fine! I have no idea how many husbands are killing their wives on TV nowadays, a lot. That's all acceptable programming but comedy specials gotta go!

It's concerning when the top 10 trending shows on Netflix involve rape, drugs, underage sex trafficking, suicide, crooked politicians, poisoned dairy products, murder for hire and no one said shit. In fact they binge watch it and talk about it with their colleagues at work. Insert one farewell comedy special and Dave Chapelle is the worst thing that ever happened to television. #WhatAJoke.

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I shouldn't have to remind you but if at any time during todays show your feelings are sore, crushed and or squashed beyond the point of resurfacing like Trumps Twitter account, consider changing the channel. It's about to get worse. This next one got under Puras skin for a minuteβ€”surprised me. She got over it but it's been awhile since she looked at me like that. I had to explain myself.

Yesterday morning or the one before that, whatever day it was, we're going through similar motionsβ€”"good morning, good morning" sip-sip, this / that she tells me about some dude who got fired from his job for dressing up like Hitler on costume day at work and now everyone wants to crucify him. The company he worked for fired him on the spot. I laughed out loud.

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"You wouldn't laugh if your Nana survived the Holocaust!" One thing I never anticipated hearing her say is that, I wasn't sure how to respond. Obviously I stopped laughing, 'of course I wouldn't.. Wait... Did your Nana survive a Nazi concentration camp??'

She didn't. She just didn't appreciate my reaction to her Instagram feed and fired off the first thing she thought of. Now she's Germany this, Poland that, everything they taught us in school. 'I know,' I told her, 'everyone knows the story.'

"Yeah, and you think it's funny!"

'No I do not think it's funny. I don't think dudes costume if funny either, fuck that guy.'

Anyone dumb enough to think they can dress like Adolf Hitler on Halloween and not catch repercussion for it is dumb enough to dress like Adolf Hitler on Halloween. I wouldn't do that. I don't know anyone who would. That's not what I'm laughing about.

I'm laughing because keyboard gangsters waited until now to choose sides on Halloween costumes. Dude dressed like Hitler and lost his job. I think that's a bit muchβ€”send him home with a warning or something, anything. Fired on nationally celebrated dress up day because the costume doesn't fit the nationally celebrated dress up mold is extreme. I'm not laughing at the costume. I'm laughing because where the fuck were they when little Johnny was the devil in kindergarten?

It's ok for mom to rock the sluttiest French maid costume she can find on Halloween but don't be R. Kelly. Kim Jong-un costumes are flying off the shelf, Saddam Hussein costumes are half price this year but don't be Hitler. I'm not supporting the costume, it was a stupid idea. I'm just saying if dude got fired for being Hitler on Halloween then anyone who dresses like Clinton or El Chapo, plantation owners and cowboys, any of the Rothschild's, Prince Andrew, fill in the blank should be fired too. We agreed to disagree.

Welcome to earth you. It didn't get this way overnight and here it is, no turning back now. Live with it.

Street bike goes head on with a semi truck and instantly a half dozen amateur photographers reach for their phone to film the catastrophe in progress but don't crack jokes!

Kidnapped at nine years old, forced to live under the bed in a makeshift coffin for 16 years only to be released for devious sexual fantasies but don't wear a weird mustache on October 31st!

Where am I? I don't remember it being like this.

Not sure what to think anymore, I'm surrounded by extremely sensitive personalities. Maybe by the time todays kids grow up, Halloween will be erased from the calendar completely, yeah! Fuck it, just erase the whole day and now October has 30 daysβ€”solved. And while we're at it, we should redefine joke.

π™Ήπš˜πš”πšŽ - πš—πš˜πšžπš— (πš“Επš”): πš‚πš˜πšπš π™°πšœπšœ π™°πšπšπšŽπš—πšπš’πš˜πš— πš†πš‘πš˜πš›πšŽ πš˜πšπšπšŽπš—πšπšŽπš πš‹πš’ πš“πš˜πš”πšŽπšœ πšŠπš—πš π™·πšŠπš•πš•πš˜πš πšŽπšŽπš— πšŒπš˜πšœπšπšžπš–πšŽπšœ.

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