Before I found drugs, millions of things would cause me stress and problems throughout every single day.
Now, I only have one problem I deal with everyday
Drugs
Although that's not completely true, I have been waiting for the perfect moment to start a bio like that. Needless to say, fucking nailed it.
I could have just posted that one sentence and it would have caused a fucking butterfly effect in China , wiping out thousands in the monsoon that is this viral ass blog post. This blog post is Kim Kardashian the day before Ray J thought twice about bringing a video camera alongside his toiletries in his Gucci overnight bag. Just in case.
I know what your thinking. The only way the existence of such an interesting specimen as myself can be physically possible is if we were living in a simulation, since such perfection and viral-osity goes against every law of nature and logical reasoning we as humans have been accepting as reality.
But no, that's where your wrong. I am here and real. But also, we might actually be living in a simulation.
My name is Joey and I'm an alcoholic. But the good kind. The kind that will buy you beers all night then is down for a beer run when I run out of cash. Not the mean kind that throws up every night then picks fight with guys smaller and weaker.
My pronouns are functional and addict.
When the OJ verdict was read, I shouted with joy not anger. Maga hats make me break out in HIVEes (pun intended) when in my vicinity. I once participated in a protest accidentally because I was high when I read the posters they were using. It wasent until after it was over that I finally noticed they all said " defund the police " not " fuck the police ".
At 13 I taught myself to walk on water without getting wet. What else. I'm 27 and actually decrease in age every year instead of growing older. I'm so dope, one day I'm just going to disappear into thin air instead of die of old age like a mere mortal. I live in the United States , obviously. My area of work is Ballin out of fuckin control like a G. As for crypto, I have been using it to skirt the gambling laws of the state I live in. So over time I have learned almost everything needed to comfortably navigate any transaction I take place in. Hobbies include making money and fucking bitches. Sometimes also in vice versa. Some of these pictures I'm posting are just a few designs I have created with hopes to one day sell them as merchandise. My online activities include hours upon hours of true crime content and stand up comedy so it's safe to say that will be a baseline I will be following as I start creating my own content.
I am curious in nature and very open minded with trying new things so I will be experimenting with my content also to figure out what works for me. I'm a gambler, I think I might have said that already. I don't claim to be perfect but perfection is what I exude.
And that is pretty much it. I'm sure I forgot some stuff but I think this is enough to mull over for now as you read and re-read this post in shock and admiration. Until next time.
Ps. To all the square and law abiding citizens that I might have offended, I apologize. These were all just jokes. My bad