Sometimes, you make choices. Other times, choices make you.
This is an introduction to my Cordillera and Central Luzon Solo Backpacking (still part of my #Project81PH) journey but this is not a travel blog. I'd like to walk you through an afternoon I spent in one of the most perfect spots to watch the sundown, how I ended up here taking pictures of people and sceneries. And of course, it will be a shame if I won't introduce you to someone, the reason why I came here and why I came here alone.
✨Buckle up! This will be a little sad story to hear on the last day of September. ✨
What brought you here?
With the heaviest heart, I arrived in Manila one afternoon in February 2019. Roughly five (5) hours before our meet-up with my guide and the rest of the climbers (whom I was about to be acquainted with), I decided to walk from the Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA) to Baclaran where I rode jeepney with direct routes to SM Mall of Asia (MOA).
With my 50L rucksack packed with the barest of necessities, I walked like a child lost in the big world — unafraid of the unfamiliar, amazed at how things were so new and different.
Then the suspicious look from strangers dawned on me: What brought you here lady? I could've easily printed a poster or a tarpaulin stating "Nagmahal. Nasaktan. Nag-solo travel" (Fell in love. Got hurt. Now traveling alone) and hang it in my backpack for everyone to see. But I traveled not to keep on digging the past but to move forward beyond pain and misery.
He brought me here.
I met Gio when I was recovering from my appendectomy. He came in a time when I was just bored and had nothing else to do. He came when I was happy being single, exploring places with my friends, discovering my potentials, and becoming the woman I dreamed to be at twenty-four (24).
He was any hopeless romantic girl’s dream boy. Standing at 5’11’’, an ex-international Flight Attendant, goes to the gym in the morning, plays basketball at night, creates heartwarming music from his old guitar, and oh, his singing voice, you can just close your eyes and listen to him all day. On top of that, he’s fun to be with. He can turn each boring topic into an interesting one. He has this unique way of keeping you excited the entire time you’re talking with him.
And I had a wonderful connection with him that I haven’t had with anyone else for such a long time. I remember we’d talk all day even in the middle of my meetings at work. I’d rush my deadlines just to find time to talk with him. And oh, he hates Duterte (if that's something relevant). And most importantly, he was there almost 24/7 to bring the faintest smile when I could barely move in my bed.
And there the young, fragile girl in me back then fell in love not knowing that the world was greedy, unkind, and unfair.
An Unexpected Photowalk
My plan that afternoon was just to have dinner in SM MOA and wait until it's time to go to the bus terminal for the overnight ride to Baguio. But my backpack gave up and I had to go to Mr. Quickie to have it fixed. I thought maybe I'm doomed all this time, why would my backpack give up during an important trip?
Nonetheless, I had it fixed in less than an hour. For those who aren't familiar, Mr. Quickie's shop is located at the South Wing of SM MOA which is approximately around two blocks away from SM By The Bay and MOA's Eye.
I can remember at the onset of the trip, I was just tired. I had questions in mind not even my mother could answer and then from afar, this big Ferris wheel caught my attention. It's not the first time I saw it, but it was my first time seeing it during the sunset. And it was gleaming in colors of gold and dandelion. I fought the urge to take out Nuknee (my DSLR) because I was saving it for Pulag, but I'm powerless compared to the charms you are about to witness through the photos I took.
I roamed further into the other side of the bay. And as I walked farther, I felt alone. I felt this place was made for friends to hang out with, for families to bond while eating a wide selection of street foods, for lovers to exchange promises of love. They say that there's this romantic ambiance one can only experience while watching the sunset at Manila Bay. And I couldn't believe that I was there, alone without a friend, a family, or a lover.
I was broken as I could be. I felt hopeless. I felt the world turned its back on me. I felt I could just disappear and it wouldn't make a big difference.
So I took more photos to feed my longing for a companion. Having Nuknee that time gave me a chance to change my perspective from sadness to gratefulness. I tried to smile while taking these pictures. But the more I convince myself that being left for someone else was okay, the more I find myself in tears.
And I was there looking at the last rays of the sun wishing that as the last rays finally fade away so will my immeasurable anguish. But to no avail.
They say we all meet people, we all experience things and events for a reason. But that moment, the only thing I could believe in was my pain, my agony, the deepest cuts in my veins unknown to many.
But life went on. It has to.
Living life intentionally every single day, she believes that there’s no limit to one’s potentials. Right now, she’s on the loose for the pursuit of endless holistic self-growth and development. She wants to light the way for others. She believes there’s no better way to leave a legacy than to pay it forward.
Her ultimate goal in life is to reach the state of enlightenment where there’s nothing but peace, love, happiness, and contentment - nothing more, nothing less.
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