Beautiful evening walk by the river to bring harmony to my mind.

My race against time has made me feeling exhausted and counter productive. It seems that the pressure one puts on oneself has backfired! Instead of being able to get more things done, I had to take a break because I injured my back due to over working in the garden. The time spent in recuperating added more stress and my sense of failure; I could never achieve my goals.

The emotional trap was unintentionally set up by my own mind; the forceful drive to achieve my goals was energy wasting. I should have known better that the mainstream way of mind control or the dominance of will power would be counter productive eventually. Violent way of handling myself (the conscious and unconscious aspects of ego) would create negative reaction somehow. But we were taught at school to control and dominate one’s emotions or feelings in order to get the desired results, This approach actually works from time to time; but the hidden damage has been done which has been accumulate through time.

Then, one day the mind just got fed up and revolted against being forced to do things which, deep inside, the mind didn’t feel like doing voluntarily. The sense of dejection and inner confusion could make me quite depressed as I was at my wit’s end and I couldn’t find the solutions to my problem. It would take me a few days of being quiet and acceptance of the unhappy result of my failure. Then it would dawn on me that I was stupid to not listen to all the warning signs and the doubts about my approach.

Then I remembered the days when I never had to plan anything, yet things seemed to happen at the right time. There used to be a way of living without conscious effort to try to make things happen according to my desired plans. That trusting, care free and happy go lucky days were gone. I had become too conditioned by western education and cultural emphasis on conquering or controlling things in my situation. This realisation of imbalance in my life made me reconsider all the conflicting values and belief systems. It’s time to practice mindfulness and come back to basic Buddhist meditation guidelines.

Slowly, the inner ‘self’ wound find its natural state of harmony and wellbeing. The sense of freedom from self-imposed pressures and conditions was quite refreshing and spacious. I would have plenty of space to feel and to act intuitively. There’s a sense of trust and satisfaction of being in the present and just enjoying doing the simple things which have to be done without any pressure. Time seemed to slow down and there’s no need to rush around. Things would just follow the flow of activities and time in harmony and friendly atmosphere.

Walking aimlessly along the river, taking a turning without any plan, just a reaction to natural stimulus in the surrounding. Sometimes there’s an urge to stop by the fishermen’s village; sometimes I was attracted by the boat rowers who came down to the river for their evening practice. The changing colours of the sunset in the spacious sky always draw me to a standstill so that I would have the time to breathe with mindfulness. The quiet moments by the river gave me the chance to feel fully alive with all my senses on this amazing earth. Then, compassion and gratitude would flow down on my body as if being blessed by Mother Nature.

Wishing you peace, good health and prosperity.

Stay strong and cheerful.

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