My life has been filled with a variety of scenarios then and now. My existence opened my eyes to reality, and I even witnessed the tragic events I never thought would come to my life. My experiences taught me the difference between what is wrong and what is right. And my younger self five years ago had a lot of aspirations.
There were days I even asked what is my purpose in life. And all I knew was the feeling of being human and reflecting through my emotions within me. I am not sure if other people had the same perceptions as mine. But one thing is for sure, I am a dreamer and will always be.
Own photos edited in Canva
Walking down memory lane five years ago, I was just at an entry-level position in my institution. In every aspect I have taken, I have encountered difficulties. I cried when I failed, but it taught me so many lessons.
In my institution, if you are new, almost all tasks are given to me. And I am the type of person who does not says no whenever I am designated by my School Head a responsibility because, as for me, it only shows that somebody trusts me for giving it to me instead of others.
The struggle I have been through is not only working for the students and doing all the ancillary tasks relating to extra-curricular activities and others but also being envied by some because, at a young age, I was already designated Chairmanship by my School Head with more considerable responsibility.
Little did I know that some also wanted the position, but they were not given by my School Head a matter of more trust.
And what hurt me was the feeling of being younger than them, and they had a sense of superiority—that feeling when people underestimate my capacity and potential.
Despite being envied, I remained neutral and just let it be because what matters more to me is being dedicated and hard-working in my job.
And this motivated me to go on with my professional growth.
With my challenge back then, I continued my Graduate Studies and got a Masters's Degree in Educational Administration and Supervision. It was a part of the promotion. And I was then so lucky to be an Outstanding Teacher in the whole division in our province, which impacted my advancement to a higher position.
Life back then was still so hard, but one thing that pushed me toward my dream was never to give up.
I never made a move to prove myself to others, but it was a matter of proving myself that no matter how others belittle me, I continue without thinking of giving up.
And so after I graduated with my Masteral Degree, I continued my Post Graduate Studies in Educational Administration and Supervision. And after straight years of studying, I finally added Ph.D. to my name.
At present, I am still a teacher but just waiting for my promotion to a higher position. But I cannot deny the fact that with the tragic events that happened to me, most especially because of the death of my sister, I cannot deny the fact that there are days that I feel empty. My sister has been my motivator and my crying shoulder every time other people are harming me. But I always stay humble.
Now, those people who once belittled me are very proud of me, and they even said that I should not forget them if my fate ever leads me to a higher position in the Department of Education.
Jealousy and hatred existed in my workplace, but they did not make me someone I did not want to become.
No matter how I keep my life private, there will always be those who will look for holes; even if my intentions are good, people see bad things in me. And no matter how I tried to do good things, some people saw me as a failure and a mess.
One thing I see as a problem in this world is that whether we are good or bad, we are constantly judged and criticized by others, and it even becomes a meal on a group’s table for the center of talks.
I have been burned in a fire many times, but I never let the scars and wounds lose my confidence.
I then realized that, in reality, it is like proving myself to them. But as for me, it was only to establish myself. I must say that since I was young, even not born with a silver spoon, my parents have always taught me to be compassionate, for in reality, there are always rude people.
Nevertheless, no matter how rude people would be, the key is still kindness and humility.
Perhaps when the fire burned everything I invested in, it taught me that not all things are permanent, for time will come when they are gone in a blink like a quick snap of fire. And that, in times of seeking help, I see the actual color of a person.
Disclaimer: All texts and pictures are my own unless otherwise stated.
