And, they said, ladies do not snore! Oh, how I have ruined my vigorous sleep for so long. Which I dearly had adored once, until I gave heed to those wise guys! Once she goes into her deep slumber, an ancient and rusty steam locomotive begins traversing right beside my ears, striving to blow my eardrums out! Nowadays, I have noticed that I cannot hear very well anymore. Have not even crossed my thirties to be called a middle-aged man, to start squandering away my senses, yet most of my nieces call me Boyra Chacchu!
At times I fear for her life! When her Whale-like grunts turn into Dolphins mating calls! Is she suffocating? And then again, it turns into a steam locomotive notifying me of her being utterly well and healthy. My mind gets overburdened with both relief and comical irony in such moments!
Cannot even tell her that she snores! Under the heavens, I fear nothing that walks, slithers, and breathes, except her anger and the broom she wields like Thor and his mighty Mjolnir!
And so I have developed a system! Most days, I try and go to sleep even before her. It is professedly hurting my manhood in front of her eyes! Well, opportunity cost as a term was coined centuries ago, so whom do I kid! A man has needs. Needs other than the actual needs! And so, I choose sleep.
Then there are days when she beats me to the finish line, and I fail at losing myself in the forgotten lands of Narnia. For such circumstances, too, I have created a Modus Operandi! Slowly I take her somnolent head in my arms and wake her up with a long, deep, and wet smooch while waiting for a hard smack to land on top of my cheeks like a modified helicopter crashing down, failing to complete a barrel roll. Indicating that the train has successfully stopped at the station! And then, to make up for the pain in vain, her combing through my hairs sends me right back at the planes of Aomame! In a zero-sum game, you have to lose a few battles to win the war! And I always win!
"Chacchu, Chacchu! Open the door!" A sudden rumble at the knobs and my nieces' antagonizing scream towards my power nap had startled me! She has always been afraid of dogs! A grey shade of impending misfortune had already clouded my mind within those few seconds it took me to reach the door! I had to save her, hadn't I!
Half naked, in my shorts, I had opened the door. But to my surprise, on the other end, an unknown pale face was staring at me! Teeth biting down at her luscious lips puzzled me even more! How did my 5-year-old niece grow into a woman overnight!
To check if I was dreaming or not, carefully, I tapped on the eerily pretty sharp nose pointing right towards me, as if it was an elevator button! A dauntless haze of daydreaming was it! Only it broke when I heard her calling Chacchu again, which seemingly was coming from down below!
There she stood, slightly trembling hands grabbing on my niece's shoulders. And suddenly I felt even more naked! At the realization of me to had just touched a complete stranger's nose. While trying to cover my manly bosoms like a deep-sea diver, I asked hastily their purpose of visit. Needs they had come with were grave, yet it was stupendous none the less.
The new tenants on the apartment above mine had already settled in! Commuting for a few hundred miles, they were tired. But the overly romantic mosquitos that spawn everywhere on monsoon seasons were not! And so, her wants, while aptly holding my niece hostage, was a simple mosquito repellent coil!
On quiet winter nights, sounds wander afar! And so, the cries of the infant next door are thoroughly abusing this prerogative! A few dogs are trying to win a shouting match somewhere close by. Yet I am as happy as I could ever be! Her fingers running down my temple is slowly making my head heavier and heavier! She had jokingly gifted me a mosquito repellent at our reception. Out of my unconditional love towards her, I had framed it, and now it hangs on the wall of my study. As I said, I do not like to lose. And the smoke slowly spiraling up towards the ceiling from the burning coil on the corner, too agrees!