Mizpah

What is it like having friends?

I don't mean acquaintances. Friends. Of course, you know the differences between them. We converse with a lot of people every day, casually or formally or in any other way possible. Some of them are colleagues and some are who you chat up with rather casually. Even though some may consider these casual chatters as friends but they're not. The reality couldn't be far from the truth.

Friend - it's so much more than the definition.


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As you know, I will not be quoting Hallmark quotes or borrow someone else's perception. Yes, my perception may be all too similar with everyone around, but maybe a tiny point may stand out. One thing for sure, I will not be explaining or change the definition of friends.

We subconsciously categorize our friends based on different notions and/or reasons. So, how do we categorize our friends? We label them based on how much they know about our lives, how in tune they are with us, how our personalities match or mismatch, and/or how comfortable are we with them to talk about things we don't share with others. (Do you agree with these?)

For example, I have two best friends and both of them couldn't be more different from one another but somehow I have similarities with both of them. One has known me since I was in my "dad's little-angel" phase and the other since I tipped the scale with one more marble to the bad side. One is more regular (albeit very witty), the other is nerdy and quite innocent; nevertheless, they're the very best. Then I have friends who I love talking to and have great conversations with, it's just something that clicks with some people. Some friends I truly adore even when there are some traits that don't match our beliefs that aren't shared mutually and vice versa. Then I have friends who know a lot about the things that I usually don't share with anyone. Maybe you too have friends that fall under such archetypes or maybe you have different.

I don't think many of us care much about what label of friends or what level of friendship there is with another person, other than our best friends. The fact remains, we want friends. Even a few months ago I had the tendency of using quotes from famous people but now I don't - not that frequently at least. A few weeks ago I came across a quote.

A true friend is someone who is there for you when he’d rather be anywhere else. - Doug Larson


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During the time I was struggling with my mood swings, market crash, and other issues, I had figured that I could only manage to talk to 2 or 3 friends at most. Well, I'm not a depressed person, but yes I too have my fair share of bad days - most importantly, my friends understood. They understood that I was going through difficulties and often I couldn't even try to form two words out of my mouth. I wouldn't call myself successful in trading but however much I have managed to save up, I had shared that news with a very close few, and they've been supportive, somewhat inspired. Even other minuscule good and bad things that happened along the line have stayed by my side. I know for a fact that I have only a handful of friends and the patience and support they have shown during my highs and lows are something that is comforting even when I don't need to be comforted.

Having true friends is as equally important as being a good friend. Even with your darkness and the demons you fight, you can manage to become a true friend.

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