Love & about all that

It beats...
Pumps blood...
If that isn't enough, it has to have feelings too...
The heart sounds roomy. There's always room for more; more for love.

They sat by the pool, too tired to move, but not tired enough to sleep - quietly listening to her. Hanging on to every word she said but no one replied. Everyone could sense the bitterness, pain, and sarcasm with a tinge of longingness. They didn't contradict. Or maybe the emotional strain was too much. At one point, they've all been there, some are still there, where she is.


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Person 1: Well I'm slowly becoming more cynical, losing faith in love.

Person 2: We're a bunch of hopeless romantics, fooling ourselves with the idea of a deeper connection naming it love which is becoming nonexistent. Pain dripping from every word.

Person 3: I don't blame you.

She chuckled: Did you see the meme where a kid was asked "what is Love?" and she answered "a neurochemical con job; I don't think she's wrong, not all of it at least. (She looked at Person 2). Heart just knows how to love, it doesn't decide who to love. That trick is done by our minds. We create a picture-perfect person we want to be with and we fall for someone who matches close enough with that description - it's our mind that actually picks who we fall in love with. It's not our heart that's uncompromising. Our mind that has all the characteristics, likes, and dislikes stored like a memory drive. We don't realize how often we listen to our hearts than our minds. The sparks, the tingles, skipping heartbeats - is it all the work of just our heart!

Person 3: So, you don't believe in love?

She laughs: You think so? Do you know the power these 5 little words hold together? (counting with fingers) I-Don't-Believe-In-Love. Love! Do you know if you utter those words, chances are you'll fall in love sooner than you realize? I do believe in love and hence I don't fall so easily. Your heart isn't easily changeable albeit spacious, but your mind is moldable. So, (Person 2) don't be unkind to your partner who was at one point in love with someone. He/she may have buried the feeling deep within but it's impossible to wipe it completely, not that it's their fault. If a heart could be changed that easily, then no one would be in pain.

Person 2: Are you saying the shadow of our past will loom over us always? The couple had been constantly fighting because of past relationships.

She: Dramatic, are we? If it was love and not maybe-it's-love then that love will stay buried at a far corner of your heart. Give it time.

Person 1: Gosh, here you are giving them a lesson in love and mine is just so plain and boring.

She: You're not in love. Your cynicism blinds you to figure out what you want. Fall in love, heartbreak, move on and repeat. It's not easy to love someone and just because you're staying with your partner a long time, you care about that person, you got accustomed to their quirks, doesn't really mean you're in love or still love them the same way. Love has a chance of fading away - if it's something else masked in the facade of love, it fades quickly. If your partner doesn't give you that same sort of sensation that he/she did all those years ago, are you still in love? Are you mistaking love for familiarity and care? Were you in love, or did you convince yourself that you were?

Person 3: So are you saying we're staying with our partners out of habit?

She: That only you know. Think of it this way. I can be the easiest person to live with, but the hardest person to love. Everything seems easy and there's nothing that surprises you with that person.

Silence fills the surrounding. They want to disagree with her but can they? What she said, got them thinking about their relationship. Person 2 started to think about the recent breakup, it had gotten too mundane to carry on. But what can they say!

She: Loving someone makes you brave and being loved gives you confidence. Heartbreak causes that confidence to shatter and doubt fills our minds. Do you know there are 3 types of people you fall in love with? 3 types of love.


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Person 2: What about them?

She: First, who brings out the worst in you. They fight against you, make you feel vulnerable and exposed. Everything is a bloody mess and you fumble around how to fix it. But after it ends, either it expands your heart and your capacity to love grows tenfold or you completely shut yourself out - the former happens eventually. The heart is too stubborn to stay shut.

They laughed briefly.

She continues: Second, who brings out the best in you. They make you feel like you're the undefeatable champion. You can win any and every war and the whole world is at the bottom of your feet. They fight by your side. With that person around, you feel strong. But your flaws and drawbacks aren't usually acceptable to him/her and constantly try to turn you into perfection. They criticize at first saying it's constructive - after a while it becomes destructive. You're human, you're flawed and your flaws make you perfect which they don't want to agree.

Person 3: Here I thought this would be good. What's the third?

She: The third? (sighs) The third...

She pauses for a moment: The third is who loves the real you. Embracing your best and worst and loving you for all that you are. Not change you but help you, be there for you. They fight for you, not with you. It's a kind of warmth that doesn't burn you but comfort you. They make you feel like coming home is the best thing you did all day. I'm not sure if it's unbreakable. Losing that kind of love will hurt you but life never gives you anything that you can't handle. At some point, you'll be thankful to life for that person's existence whether you're together or not.

Person 2: That's...

Person 3: Yeah... sighs.

She: We find each of them at certain times of our lives, maybe not all of them but more than one of them. If you ever think of "The one that slipped away", it'll be among the three. Hurt is inevitable. Just because you can get into an accident, doesn't mean you stop going out. And there's always something to look forward to when you step outside.


As always, I say that I'm never 100% correct. I thought it'd be better if it's written in a conversation style. Our mind is always complex, always changing and growing - our heart is a bit more conventional and not easily swayed, I believe, but it too changes, very very slowly. I don't agree with wearing my heart in my sleeves but I don't fall in every chance. And yet I wanted to say a lot more but I found myself fumbling around trying to make sense.


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