Living Like a Cockroach

Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyay— what should I say about him— he is the man for whom I have developed my love of Bengali literature. Also, he is the person who has detached me from reading many popular literary pieces and Sir Humayun Ahmed is among the first.

Photo by Marcus Cramer on Unsplash

When everyone is so hyped with Himu and has gone through the whole series, I can't even read a few pages— it's not gorgeous enough, my minds say. The words, the visualisation — I just don't find what's so juicy about his writings.

But I don't dare to say he is worthless, in fact, he is the man whose writings have created a new generation of avid readers. It's amazing how his writings single-handedly sparked interest among thousands of youths and taught the art of reading literature, inspiring them to write their first diaries. I also have read one of two of his novels, can't say they didn't mesmerise me— but I couldn't digest them as others do. And I cannot ignore some of his witty lines— so powerful and relatable. He was a man of letters, indeed.

Okay, Sarat babu— my man— for the last couple of days, a line from one of his literary works is buzzing in my brain. Probably we all have read Bilashi; a short story enlisted in our Bengali curriculum. There was a line "the giant mammoth has gone extinct but the tiny cockroach is still surviving."

Probably I didn’t think about the deconstructed message of the line back in my student days, but, recently, I feel like I am getting closer to a life of a cockroach.

That’s right— what should I call it but a cockroach life when you can clearly envision your life in isolation, away from your loved ones, always anxious about what’s next! Yes, with every day passing, I can see where I am heading, but, there is no return— apparently. Leave that for now; I will deal with it somehow.

Now tell me, how do you evaluate an expatriate's life? Did you ever try to look into their lives except for the hardship they go through or something other than a money-making machine?

Sometimes, my rambling thoughts cloud my judgment and I come up with such weird ‘theories.’ Most of them are superficial but I find enjoyment in justifying them with my very own logic and perception.

Anyway, I often wonder how it feels to be a complete stranger someplace and live there years after years with little to no chance of being accepted in that community. Even if you try hard, you can never claim yourself as one of the community and all you can do is retreat to your cave when it’s time.
Hard to imagine but that’s the life most of our remittance fighters lead out there— living like a cockroach who comes to the light only when it’s hungry or the hideout is exposed. The insect lives in your house yet unwelcomed, you know it’s there but you don’t care. Sometimes you just pity them and simply ignore them instead of killing them— but you could do that without a second thought or at least could bring fear into its heart.

Do you find any resemblance with our expatriate brothers and sisters? Can you relate the two different species— cockroaches and our brothers out there?

Years after years, our brothers live in other countries only to bring happiness to their loved ones' lives. But the community certainly does not welcome them with open arms and during their stay, I think they go through uncertainty every day. And in most cases, limit their activity or even thoughts within the boundary of their workspace— resonating a cockroach. Racism, inferiority complex, inadequate human rights, and so many things shrink their ability to think wide open, act fearlessly, and enjoy their life as they deserve.

Similarly, when they come back to the country, after 10-15 years, they find it hard to cope. Things don’t remain the same during the period— new culture, new generation, new norms— they just can’t suit themselves as they could back then. Even after it’s where they belong, they are still deprived of the luxury a free man deserves.

Leaving your country is always painful and people take that decision when there are no better options to opt in or the country is not welcoming anymore. But living the life of a cockroach is really a thing humans deserve?

[all content is mine unless otherwise stated]