It's been a while life was going in not much variations in the graph, even if it's so down. All the time I thought there is not much down there to fall into. But each time I was wrong, but this time I could feel the stability. Maybe everything had become much better,or I have improved in behaving under each circumstances.
It was long and boring days, So I couldnt simply find the change in me, maybe this was the change I dessired for all the time. But there is not much memory of old me is left in me. That may sound like an awkward sentence. I couldnt find any other words to describe it, maybe I'm lazy to find it.
I could see some bad chnges clearly,it's something that I always keep with me. I have forget about those too. There is the need for completely in the present, which could give me push to go forward again.
The big thing that happened to me is about music, I hear music very often now, even when I'm typing this, there is music playing in my ears. They could both push me forward and drag me back. These songs helped me passing lot of beautiful days. There is also the songs that I addicted to, which ddrags me baack.
I know even before pushing that play button that I'm gonna get sad and down for even a complete day. But I'm addicted to the music, So I let them to drag me down. That' s the beauty of music, it's hard to say no to it.
Most of the times I could feel the rhyth of the songs from the things happening around me, I try listen to them and seize the moments. It's always like that, I always tried find them.
Boring days could be controlled up to a limit by these, maybe it helps me to procrastianate. The dreams about a better tomorrow. Years passed and there was not much change in the days, the change was only in the dreams. The dreams changed become more clear and wide, but it feels like they are far from before.