September, I have one particular memory from September that I always remember because that's when I finally got freed from my longtime suffering. It's the kind of suffering where I always feel a little stress because of that growing thing in my nose, furthermore, I have a low self esteem that I always feel so ugly, aside from that I was always in pain as I can't accept what is happening to me. This is when I often question God as to why it has to be me and not those people who do bad things.
But now that I think about it, I suffer because of me too. So I don't have the right to question him. It is solely my fault that I have it and am suffering from it.
Having a nasal polyp in my nose made me suffer a lot during my teen years until college days. Because of this, my confidence dropped to zero, and I feel like I'm carrying heavy baggage on my shoulder every day that I just want to vanish. I hate that because of it, I couldn't fully enjoy being a college student. I still have good memories from those times, but only if I don't have this polyp in my nose will I be much happier.
I remember carrying a hanky every day that I could use to cover my nose like this. Because the polyp on my nose is already big, it hangs outside sometimes. I always have a runny nose, and breathing was already in my mouth, as I can't breathe comfortably anymore in my nose because of the polyp blocking the airway. I really suffered for a long time thanks to this. We don't even have the money to get endoscopic surgery for this nasal polyp. I even tried a lot of herbal medicine during that time with the belief that it would disappear if I took it.
Sadly, only the warts on my hands disappear, but never the polyp. Well, I know too that it is already hopeless because the polyp was already big to the point that it was already showing outside. The only option for this was to remove them using surgery. I really thought I would have this with me forever, but, fortunately, something happened that we got money in our hands, and we used that to remove this polyp in my nose.
Of course, we still asked for help from some organizations for cash assistance. And with my PhilHealth too, we were able to save a lot thanks to that. And then, on September 18, 2017, I was admitted to the hospital to proceed with the surgery. I had mixed emotions that day, anxiety and excitement. I'm anxious because I don't know what's going to happen during the surgery, and I'm excited because finally, my long-standing problem will be removed from my body.
The surgery was a success. When I opened my eyes, I feel so dizzy, they can't even talk to me, like I was in a vegetable state, it's because of the anesthesia that was injected into me. I immediately check to see if I can finally breathe in my nose, but to my disappointment I still feel a discomfort because they put gauze in my nose, for the wound. But either way, I feel so happy, Mom on the other hand was so scared in the whole duration of the operation because it took too long for it to end. It can't be avoided that her blood rise. Good thing wr are in the hospital to check on her too. But everything ends well that day.
And when the gauze was finally removed from my nose, good heavens, I felt it - the air, the ease of breathing. I'm still not used to it, I sometimes forget to breathe in my nose, but I got used to it over time. I can't still smell, but I was so sure that it would come back after maybe a week or so. I was the happiest during that time, it was the best feeling that I will never forget.
It's been six years already, and September 18 is surely one of the best memories for me. Thanks heaven, I was free from that long and agonizing suffering. You can tell how happy I was, yeah? I can smile widely now without covering my face with a hanky. I don't need to overthink anymore that this nasal polyp will just show outside if I smile widely like this. I feel like the heavy baggage I'm carrying on my shoulder has finally vanished. I can finally breathe, literally, using my nose and not my mouth. I'm finally free! That's it.
Hey guys, you might want to join here, check this out! @charmingcherry, @xanreo, @jenthoughts, @usagidee.
