This is my entry to the contest: A letter to the past by @bdcommunity. I understand it's no use recalling the wrong things that have happened in the past and there's nothing else we can do about it but to just accept it as it is. Those mistakes and things I should have done but didn't has sometimes kept me up at night and kept me wondering what could have happened if I had done things a little bit differently. Right now, I can say I am happy with where I'm at but writing a letter to our past self, no matter how futile and impossible it is still feels like removing a stake in my heart. So here's my entry.
Hey girl!
Yeah, it's me, your older self. We've got a lot to talk about. But before I go rambling on, let me start by saying stop beating yourself up. It's my job, not yours. All you got to do now is just stay focused. Just listen to me and listen very well. Because I know you are really stubborn, you still will be after 10 years, it's been good for you but you've been destroyed a couple of times because of that so please tone it down a bit. It would be very helpful for us if you start toning it down as early as now.
So first things first, congratulations on your fitness journey. By now, I know you've achieved your goal. That's as good as it gets so please do enjoy the results. And learn to receive compliments very well. Just say thank you, that's a start. While you're at it, please make it a clear target to yourself that you are trying to get fit because you want to, not because you are conscious of what people say about your weight. So what if you're skinny? Don't fret about that. Because in a couple of years, you'll be called fat and will be mistaken as a pregnant woman even when you're not. Learn that you can be happy with whatever shape you have if you just accept yourself for who you are. Oh yeah, please keep yourself healthy. If you can just make that your ultimate goal, it would be really lovely. Thank you.
Secondly, I need you to stop second guessing yourself and start being confident. I know you grew in a society where your self-esteem was just shattered just because you're not tall, you're not fair-skinned, your hair is all wavy and not like that shiny hair in the commercial. At your age, I know you already know that but I am just here to give you a slap to wake you up a little bit. You need that right now. So go ahead and fire up that resume and claim that promotion. Spoiler alert, you will not get it but you will get something better.
Do yourself a favor, stop telling yourself that you will never be a housewife or that you will never want to stay in the house to just take care of your husband and kids. Because you will fall in love with someone that will change your mind and your heart. No, he's not the one you're with right now. Although he will be your husband so take care of him as early as now. You got some serious competition lurking around, feel free to use every ounce of power you have to keep that man. He's the one. But ultimately, the person you will fall in love with and make you change your whole life is your daughter. She will be your world, your life, and the reason for your very being. I know right now you want to have kids, and you feel that you are ready. Guess what, you're not. Not yet. Wait a few years more, she'll be with you. And she will be worth the wait.
While you're waiting, go ahead and climb all the mountains you want to climb, camp out, dine-in, travel, go crazy. Give yourself the best time. Give yourself all the pampering you will ever need. Because by the time you become a mom, your me-time will be reduced to a trip to the grocery store and even that will be taken away from you. Yes, you'll be stuck at home. You. A person who loves walking and jogging in the morning. Someone who cannot stay put inside the house for even a minute. So go ahead and seize the day while you still have the chance.
Let me remind you by the way that sleeping in is not a hobby. Staring at the phone also isn't. Buy more books. Don't just focus on fiction, read more self-help books and articles. Education did not end when you graduated from college. Brush up your crocheting skills. You have hidden your crochet hook and your yarns for a long time already, it's time to face it, you really do love crocheting. Don't stop yourself from pursuing your passion.
Most of all, love yourself a little bit more. I know you want to help everyone around you but it wouldn't hurt to put yourself first from time to time. Don't feel guilty for the pleasures that you so deserve. I know life is difficult but you deserve to be pampered and cared for too. You have been working hard for everybody else but yourself. It is hard to be a breadwinner but please do not always make yourself the least priority.
And while we're at it, do yourself a favor and pump up those savings of yours. As soon as your friend approaches you about cryptocurrency, sit the freak down and study it, please. Learn and master it. I am still mad at you for not listening, you stubborn and skeptical little freak! I told you, it's my job to beat you up, so please give me no reason to do so. Be open to new ideas. Be brave to step into the unknown. You literally have almost nothing to lose, I have. So please make sure you got me covered.
Don't worry, the future isn't as gloomy as you feared it would be. Just keep moving forward. Have courage but remain kind. You will make a lot of decisions that you will regret in the future. I am a living embodiment of those wrong decisions. But one thing is for sure, right now, you are happy. Tired, but happy.
Thank you @adamada for tagging me. Tagging @starstrings01, you might want to check out the contest too. :)
@romeskie is a full-time stay at home mom juggling homeschooling, crocheting, and homemaking. A Business Administration graduate with a major in Marketing who ended up in the contact center industry, on the frontlines, climbing her way up to Workforce Management where she found her passion in real-time analysis and management. A once self-proclaimed careerwoman who soon realized homemaking was her real calling. Her passion varies from reading, writing, photography, and most of all, crocheting.
Connect with her through her Facebook Page: The Leftie Crocheter and on Instagram. Feel free to subscribe to her Youtube Channel: The Leftie Crocheter
