Am I Confused or is this a Coming Out?

Asking myself about my identity, am I just confused? My life is full of questions, looking for answers. Is this who I really am? Or do I just want to belong in this world?

In my 19 years of existence, 3 years of questioning if I am straight or not. Hiding my true identity, scared of what people may say about me. Identity crisis is what I felt, wondering if I can find a way out of this. Do I even know about myself? I like both girls and boys. It turns out, I might be a member of the LGBTQIA+ Community. Am I even ready to accept it? After realizing my gender identity, I guess I am a bisexual. At first, I was scared to admit it to myself but as days went by, it became normal to me. Loving the same gender as you are is not way more different by man and woman. It is just the same but the gender is the only difference.

Discovering myself makes me wonder if it’s okay to be like this or not. Being part of the said community faces a lot of challenges in life. Discrimination is one of the big challenges we face. I once discriminated against my classmate just because I didn't want my friend to be with her. I’ve realized how harsh I am to her. After that incident, it doesn’t make you look bad to like someone the same gender as you. The bad thing is the eyes of the people. Of course, we are living in a judgemental world.

Now, you’ve reached this part where I will share to you the story on how I found out about my sexual orientation. Honestly,it was very confusing because I already started to admire girls when I was still in my 7th grade. I thought it was just normal to admire a girl and then in 9th grade, I had a crush on a girl again but I was in my denial stage at that time. When the pandemic started, I admired another girl. She was actually the girl who let me know about my sexual orientation. Knowing that I am a bisexual, it shocked me and my parents. At first, my parents didn’t accept me but as days passed by, they just accepted me because I am happy with it.

After years of hiding from others, I finally came out last year, 2023. It was very fulfilling and happy because I don’t need to hide myself anymore and I can be myself. Even if it took me a lot of time to come out, it let me understand myself more. Now that I am out, I am proud to say that I have a girlfriend and I am happy with her.

A reminder to everyone the same as me, just take your time and you don't need to come out right away. No need to pressure yourself as long as you are ready, then go for it. Continue to be yourselves! Lots of love!