The same can be said for parenthood. I have always been a very dedicated mother and found it hard to take time for myself, especially when I was in a relationship with their father.
I mean there was just not enough hours in the day. In the end I lost touch with my creative self, I lost all confidence in my ability to be playful and just never felt good enough to participate in certain activities7jams when the opportunity arised. I just could no longer tap into that side of myself, unless it was something playful with my girls.
Perhaps I exhausted myself, in the creation if these 3 beautiful beings, leaving little energy for any other creative process? Perhaps it's all just the way it was meant to me.Because any other path, would not have brought me to where I am now!
Then I separated from my girls father and realized, that in order for me to cope with the pressure of being a singe parent, I really needed to have a creative outlet.(There could no longer be any excuses) I needed to take time for me. So I began my journey or rediscovery, a journey, that has brought me to where I am now and has really shown me who I am becoming!
When you reach the bottom, you come to a point where you feel like you have nothing left to lose and in that moment, you really get to see who you are. When you have been stripped bare, all that you have been denying and holding onto has been flung to the side, you see the full strength of who you really are.
I knew that in order for me to strive forwards, I had to let go of everything. I had to let go of the many expectations I had for myself and the expectations I had of others. I had to step into my own, to embrace who I had become, so that I could become who I am meant to be.
With my energy levels at an all time low, I struggled to climb back up, but climb I did and as the whole world went into lock down, I climbed to the top. With my words, my creative expression bursting forward. I stopped fully into my power and I felt so alive!
I found my tribe and connected with those who had a similar vision, with every one of us, ready to take back our role as creators and create the world we want to live in. My fire was ablaze and I began to really explore that long forgotten side of myself, so playful ,cheeky and determined.
I had forgotten, how much fun I could have, by just being me, by no longer holding myself back! I felt and continue to feel so free, even with all of the restrictions that were put in place. It' liberating to step into your power, to own your decisions and take responsibility for your life.
I am becoming, who I was always meant to be!
I am becoming more self sufficient, a better woman and mother. I will soon move from the land I am on, to green pastures and create the mushroom farm, I so greatly desire and this will enable me to trade with others, to fully provide for myself and my girls. I will be fully independent from the system and I will/ rather I am thriving.
I am becoming so much more than I ever was, evolving naturally with the world around me!
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