This was the question posed to us by the Abundance Tribe, ‘Who are you becoming?’ A burning question which is worth answering.
"They deem me mad because I will not sell my days for gold; and I deem them mad because they think my days have a price." - Khalil Gibran.
This statement could sum up my life in a sentence.
I love this exercise to journey deeper into myself, a kind of self-exploration. While this is fine in private some may find it hard to do so in public, as for me this activity seems like a kind of documentation and accountability on my part. I would like to come back and read about my progress someday.
I enjoy going deeper and this is something I do often. Serious soul searching often brings to light (even to myself) where I've been and what I would like to be.
My past life
To know who I am becoming I need to start with who I was. For a major part of my life as a young adult I have only followed instructions and did what was expected of me. I existed but never lived my own life. Not that it was bad, but I was on auto-mode and it just did feel like a vibrant life. That was a long time ago.
What am I becoming?
“Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.” - Khalil Gibran
I have always believed in this statement and it has become my guide over the years.
Now, to tell you about what I have become or what I am in the process of becoming. I am becoming my own person, I might listen to your opinion, I may weigh it out but I won't be swayed by it. I would end up doing what I need to do based on my own core values.
I am becoming someone deeply anchored to my belief system. I love peace and joy that comes from living a full life. My focus is not on the material things, I do what brings me happiness while I am careful not to disturb or infringe on the peace of others. I chose to do what I enjoy; I spend most of my time doing these things. I know that my emotions are mine to take care of so I am focused on being happy.
"We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them. - Khalil Gibran
I don't run after happiness like I used to in my younger days. I find happiness in all things around me, in the things I do, and in the people around me.
I am becoming more and more positive; I choose not to focus on the negative. This comes in the way of my enjoying life. I am not overly optimistic; I am anchored to reality while I chose to focus on the good.
I am becoming more patient with myself and with others, more accepting of my own weaknesses and failures. I have learned to take them in my stride and move on with life. Being stuck and stagnated stinks, flowing on freshens my soul.
I am becoming more grateful for everything, even the tiniest thing. No ranting for me, (once in while I still do it and realize my stupidity soon enough) Gratitude is what keeps me happy all the time. I helps me be who I have always wanted to be, happy, kind, loving and positive.
I used to be a perfectionist, sometimes I still beat myself about my mistakes. While that is true, I am working on that. Sometimes I let my disappointments show, I am working on that as well. I try not to be my enemy anymore. I am grateful that I am not a finished product, I am still work in progress.
I cry, I grieve, I give expression to my emotions but never stay there beyond what is needed. I often express these emotions in my poetry and find a release for them creatively. Bottling them within and putting on a brave face makes me feel negative at times. Writing them away is the best way to get rid of the negativity for me. (I may end up never publishing such stuff, but it’s out). I allow myself to live through and experience my emotions (the wholeness of life) and I see that I have become stronger and more resilient for this experience.
I am becoming someone I like, someone I'll be friends with, someone to whom I can share my burdens with. I am becoming someone who cares deeply, someone who will tell you what she really feels, no sugar coating for me. I 'might' sometimes come through as harsh maybe I could lose you in the process but that is left to you and your ability to take the truth. I like being true to myself.
I am becoming the child in me; the carefree child who chases after butterflies and fireflies, who lays on the ground looking at the stars and feels a deep sense of connect. The child who is inquisitive and wanting to learn more with a heart to enjoy everything that comes her way. I am happiest when I am with nature a sense of completeness fills me and I am falling more and more in love with her each day.
I am who I am and I am happy with what I am becoming. There is scope for improvement, I will take each day as it comes. I am not perfect; I understand I will never be and so I am fine with myself. I know that until my last breath I can work on myself. I have my flaws but who doesn’t? You could judge me if you want to but I won’t judge myself yet I am work in progress, that is how I see myself.
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All other images are duly attributed.