From time to time people approach me and ask – “But how can I know if a person I meet is my TrueLove, is someone I should continue dating?”
Many, and recently men as well, bring up that dilemma, asking to have a fail-safe system that would ensure them that they are making the right choice; that they are not just wasting their time; that the efforts they invest in someone will be beneficial and productive.
To answer that I will now repeat some words I have written before and lighten them for the sake of clarity:
The fact that you have doubt about someone you just met does not necessarily mean that this person is “not for you” or that you would do wrong by dating him/her. You are confused only because you are letting your mind make decisions. Let’s examine a typical situation –
You have registered yourself on a dating website, browsed many profiles of wonderful, good looking men and even messaged to some. Weeks go by until one day someone writes you back. You correspond with him for a few days, and then conduct some phone conversations until he suggests that you two get together. And now you doubt. “Should I?”, “Should I not?” On the one hand, you are not in love with him yet. On the other hand, you have invested a lot of effort in the search for a date and it’s normal that people don’t fall in love instantly. If you don’t meet him you might lose a great opportunity. Or so you think.
The problem in the above-described situation is not that you are confused or in doubt but the unfortunate and inappropriate status in the first place. Meaning, you really did not have to put yourself in a situation that would cause you to doubt. TrueLove has no doubts!
So, you ask now, how can I find a mechanism that will help me find a mate, my true love, and know for sure that he is the One?
The answer, I am sorry to say, is simple. Why sorry? Unfortunately, most people don’t attribute great value to simple things. Only something that is difficult or complicated wins their attention.
When you look for TrueLove you must first know and decide to let your mind rest. Your mind, your endless thinking process can only impede or harm your creations. Then, you must realize that the physics that is involved in the creation of your true love is not the ordinary rules of nature that govern the known universe. Thirdly, you need to accept the mysterious yet simple fact that the “you” that you are aware of is just a part of the huge “YOU” that exists. Remember, the journey towards TrueLove is actually a journey towards the knowing of the Self that you are; the much bigger self than the human self that you may now be aware of. This Self can help you in creating your TrueLove. It wants to help you. Will you let it?
After understanding all the above, here are a few practical principles. Remember – it’s simple, and in order for it to work for you, you must keep it that way. Simple!
- First, choose. The choice is done first by your mind and this is the only time when your mind should play a part in the process.
- Secondly, release that choice from your thoughts. Do not think about the need you have for a spouse. Do not think how lonely you are. Actually, do not think at all about your human situation. Incidentally, because many of you are so used to thinking you might find it very difficult not to think or to contemplate your sorry love life. The remedy here is to do things that will distract your mind.
- Thirdly, live in the moment. Remember that there is a big YOU that is “out there” and wants to help you. Bring this YOU to merge with the human you. How? Just choose so. For instance, say to yourself things like this: “I am here. The full I Am is here; in this moment; in this place”.
- And lastly, the best way for you to know if someone you met (and you will, very soon!) is someone you should date, is the easiness factor. Listen carefully – when you need to battle or struggle for someone’s love, for someone’s attention, it means that this person is not right for you. It means that this person entered your life NOT by the big YOU that is always there to help you. On the other hand, if you meet someone “accidentally”, if the communication between you two flows easily, if they don’t play games of ego, if a nice feeling of easiness accompanies the process of your birthing relationship then know that this person is someone you should be with. It doesn’t mean that you would fall in love instantly or that this person would be your spouse forever. It means that s/he is right for you now!
So, in the example mentioned above, you should not have gotten yourself into that dating website in the first place. Searching time and again for weeks and months is a struggle! It is not easy! If something is not easy, then walk away. If someone you like doesn’t return your emails, doesn’t answer your phone calls, doesn’t seem to care about you – leave. The YOU that you are will bring you something much better.
You will have no hesitations when you will know that the person you just met was brought into your life by YOU; by the wise, compassionate and loving Master that has a broader perspective about your human life. Then, you will have no doubt.
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