How my positive thinking is a survival mechanism

Some people wonder how I remain so optimistic about life. Some people probably think I’m full of shit. I even have to question myself sometimes.

There is so much to stress over, so many things that could go wrong, and I am absolutely no stranger to being let down. I can’t even count how many people have disappointed me in my life.

So why am I still positive? Is it denial?

Well, no, but I discovered that even though you can't always control your moods directly, you can influence your moods through your focus. You choose a focus that feels good and it will lead to feeling better.

I also realized that things are often pretty open ended. Bad situations have silver linings and even when things are good you can find things to complain about.

And so if I can choose to be positive or negative (based on my focus), why in the hell would I ever want to choose to be negative? It doesn't lead to better results, it doesn't really lead to anything good at all.

I am not in denial about all the BS out there. I just want to focus on the good because it gives me energy to make more good. My goal in life, simplified, is to create positive feedback loops and you don't get those by being negative.

The fact is, for over 3 decades I woke up thinking negative thoughts. It sucked. The only way I could stop feeling awful all the time was to actively change my focus to things that felt good, to turn that into a habit.

And so after a few years, it's relatively easy for me to feel pretty ok, even when things kind of suck. And yeah, I think a lot of things suck, still. But there are good things too, and I am capable of making some things better, so that's what I do, or try to do at least.

It's funny, cause most complaining, I totally get. Most negative perspectives I can relate to more than anyone knows. I just can't let myself go there.

Think of me like a recovered addict. My addiction was negative thoughts. I can't go there, no matter how bad it gets. In order to survive, I have to be positive. I have no doubt in my mind that I wouldn't be here today if I hadn't formed this habit.

Does this all make me a fraud for having a positive response to almost everything despite not always feeling great, or something feeling absolutely awful? I don't think so. I think this concept of using focus to influence our outlook on the world, and designing ourselves into people that we want to be is something that the world could greatly benefit from, and so that's why I write and that's why I try to reach people.

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Confessions of the Damaged - Out Now!

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