I tagged it the moment of truth. Relationship with family is one vital thing in a man's life and when the background is faulty, it affects many areas in an individual's life. Not all of us had a parental upbringing, the truth is, I never knew my parents when I was growing up, it was at the age of 8 that I was introduced to them and I never lived with any of them until I was about 25 years that I stayed with my mum for a few years. I was brought up by my grandma and my answers to the question would mostly refer to her relationship.
What role do/did your parents play in your life?
It's hard to actually figure out the role they played. Like I said, I never grew up under their care, my grandma provided for every one of my needs. My entire childhood days, I lived with her. She represented a motherly and fatherly figure to me. At a point I assumed she was my real mum, to clear that misconception, I had to be introduced to who my real parents were.
Has your relationship with your parents changed over the years?
Yeah, it had changed positively with my mum but negatively with my Dad. My mum and I are best of friends, sometimes I feel she wants to make up for the days she wasn't there for me. I visit her most often now and she gives me this parental advice. But for my dad, we seldom talk. It's been a year since we last spoke. I sometimes don't know the bitterness he has for us, why he chose to separate himself from us. I was only told the story why he left when I was just a year old for some reasons that were intangible.
Is there anything you wish your parents would do（or would have done) differently?
Yeah! There's a lot I wished they would have done, especially my dad. First, see me as his son. Maybe he does, but doesn't show it. Our conversation on the phone is always like the boss - servant dialogue. I wish he would let me know his plans, a little thing about him, I don't know why he left. There's a lot I don't know about him except his surname. My grandma who had been my parent figure, I wish she would call us together as family and try to settle this feud that none of us (the children) knows the origin of.
How are you similar to your parents?
I noticed I have a few characteristics of my mum, but I took none from my dad, while I have a lot of traits I took from my grandma. My grandma is kind, sometimes she can discomfort herself to make someone happy, she doesn't easily get angered but little irrelevant things could make her angry, and she's a giver- All these I took from her though I have worked myself to stay off being angered by irrelevant things
How are you different from your parents?
My dad is dark in complexion, and I'm fair, that I took after my mum. He is stingy and hard hearted, a complete opposite of me. He cares less about fashion, I do care a little. While on my grandma's part, she can't control it when she's angry, I control mine very well.
Do you prefer a more involved relationship with your parents or more distance?
I prefer a more involved relationship. I wish I could know them beyond just being parents. I'm doing fine all by myself now, but I wish I could talk to them as friends and parents and they could take the role of someone to whom I'm their responsibility(especially my dad).
I don't know if I answered the questions appropriately, but that's the truth about me- I don't like to fake that everything is fine even though I have moved on and still love them dearly.