I'm Gbagyi, a tribe in Nigeria known for carrying loads on their shoulders. they're indigene of Niger state and FCT Abuja. The Gbagyi has a unique style in displaying their culture in art, dressing, and marriage. These styles though began to change form with the introduction of modernization, some parts still practice the ancient method of espousing and giving the bride out for marriage and the marriage ceremony. I shall share a story told by my mother of how our culture celebrated marriages before now.
The Gbagyi marriage process
A man during the early 70s to 80s was forbidden to profess love to the woman he admired. It was only allowed for him to communicate this feeling to his parents who in turn tell the parents of the girl who afterward tell the girl. They had little or no choice when it comes to the selection of a suitor, the parents do the selection from among the number of suitors who show interest. During their courtship, the lady is allowed to visit the boy in an exposed environment but if the location is far from the hometown, there's a wrapper that is wrapped around the lady's waist and nicely tie in some special way, this is done to monitor the lady if the lady returns, they check the tied wrapper if it remained tied as it should be or not against the future.
There were no drums to get the classic sounds they generate now, what they do is fill some basins with water and put calabash of different sizes to get different beat. While the beating is on, some women make sweet noises of praises inviting the lady to come out while they dance around to the tune of the beating. After the lady comes out, the women set fire and fetch out flour that is used to cook out native dish then the lady is asked to do the cooking which she later feeds her husband with. If the food taste well then she is believed to be set for marriage else the husband decides if he can groom her at his place or is allowed to stay longer.
If the lady passes, the women make joyful noises and dance around her as a form of invitation into motherhood. But things had changed, modernization is taking over and changing everything, just a few remote areas still practice this but of the current, after the bride price is paid, and a wedding date fixed, the groom makes arrangements for cultural drummers who entertain the show. During the wedding ceremony, the lady is asked to prepare a meal called "Tuwo" in our dialect, this meal represents what the culture values and indirectly telling them to esteem the culture wherever they find themselves. The other events end with dancing and the introduction of the bride's and groom's parents. The bride's parents officially hand over their daughter to the groom publicly.
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