Today I want to talk about this nice book which I read. The name of the book is 'Controlling your emotions before they control you' and it is written by Bob Philips. The title is captivating and gives an insight into what the book is all about, which is centered on helping people change their outlook on the pressure, difficulties, and stress of life. Everyone faces the pressure and stress of life at one point or the other, but our attitude toward it is what makes or breaks us. Before we dive into the book fully, let me briefly talk about the book and the author.
Photo Credit: All Images taken by me using Samsung A32
The book is arranged into fifteen (15) chapters and has 303 pages. It was first published in 1995, but this current edition I read was published in 2007. The author, Bob Philips is a licensed family counselor in California and has written over 70 books including Over the Hill and On a roll, 42 days to feeling great, etc.
The first 3 chapters of the book establish the fact that life is not a smooth sail all through. At some points, there may be challenges or difficulties.
However, when these problems come, it is best to face them with courage rather than running from them. The journey of life involves struggle, pain, and courage. Facing it with the determination not to give up brings mental, spiritual, and emotional growth. Hence, strength and maturity come from the struggles of life.
I perfectly agree with the points in these chapters because as the saying goes;
A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.
And I can personally attest to that. Some of the life challenges I have faced made me come out stronger and better and spurred me to greater heights. So, this part of this book is a motivation to everyone out there facing one life challenge or the other. Please keep on moving forward with courage. You will surely come out better and stronger.
The next couple of chapters (chapters 4 and 5) talk about people's responses to the challenges of life. When people are faced with the problems of life, some people respond to them through depression, anger, or fear.
In our society today, depression has become a very common mental health problem. Often we hear the news of people drinking toxic chemicals, jumping into a lagoon, etc. Or people burning houses or murdering out of anger. These are all the outcomes of an uncontrolled emotion over the things that happen in life.
This relates to what is happening in my country currently. The public universities have been shut down for over 7 months now due to the industrial action by the Academic Staff Union of the Universities. Students have been at home doing nothing. People's dreams are shattered and destiny is delayed. Many are depressed, angry, and frustrated at the bad governance, insecurity, and everything happening.
People are going through a lot and they need the lessons in this book to stay strong and gain control over their feelings and emotions. These responses to life events are natural. Everyone gets angry at some point. But what matters the most is our control over these feelings and that is the focus of this book.
The rest of the chapters of this book discuss our control over our feelings and emotions. The first step in this is to understand your feelings (chapter six). This chapter helps you to understand your emotions and cope with life. It explains that all emotions are natural and God-given. They can make or break us depending on how we respond to them.
For instance, anger can be used in a positive way to save a family member who is being attacked. It can also be used in a negative way to hit someone or set property ablaze. When one chooses the negative sides of anger, depression, hurt, rebellion, or anxiety as the response to life challenges, over time, they become a habit and very difficult to get out of it.
In chapters 7, 8, and 9, I learned to take responsibility for my actions. To own up to mistakes. To face life challenges head-on and tackle them with courage. It also talked about understanding others. Everyone has their differences. We will not expect everyone to behave like us. By this, we will be able to avoid some of the avoidable life problems.
Chapters 10 and 11 talks about forgiveness and peace. When we forgive others for their wrongdoing, when we seek peace at all times, we make the world a better place. We eliminate the rancor, hatred, and violence that exists amongst us.
I agree with this. I believe that in all we do in life, peace remains a priceless tool for a happy life. Forgiveness is also very important. When people harbor anger and disappointment, over time, it turns to frustration which might lead to attack or withdrawal and depression. So the best is to let go and be free from all these.
Chapters 12 and 13 talk about how to handle fear and stress. It gives the positive and negative sides of both fear and stress, and how to manage the negative sides to gain control over them. In chapter 14, I learned that in all things, God remains the ultimate and when we hand over all our troubles and worries to him, He will help to guide us through them. The last chapter emphasizes the need to seek the help of a counselor when one faces serious challenges that need professional assistance.
In summary, I enjoyed every part of this book as it relates to my day-to-day experiences. Life is not easy here. At one point or the other, we experience some challenges. But from this book, I have been able to gain a good knowledge of how to control my feelings at all times instead of my feelings controlling me. With this, I will be able to face my challenges, conquer my fears and come out stronger and better.
I highly recommend this book to everyone, especially those who lose control over their feelings and are taken over by anger, fear, and depression. This book shows a practical guide to come of it and gain total control of your feelings about the things happening around you. The book also contains bible references and true life stories to learn from.
Thank you so much for reading.
Photo Credit: All Images taken by me using Samsung A32.