Everywhere.
Social media, daily conversations, you name it. Everyone seems to be lamenting the same thing. “I always looked forward to being an adult, if only I knew that it would be like this.” “It reached my turn to become an adult and enjoy that feeling of being one, but things are so expensive.” “I want to return to the time when my biggest worry was what kind of glitter pen I should buy or if Femi had read my love letter yet.” The complaints are endless. Lol.
I felt sceptical about writing this because I wondered if I could be qualified as an adult. Though there are plans to move out soon enough, does the fact that I’m still under their roof discredit my adulthood claim? I pondered on this and as you may have guessed, the reason I got to writing this is because I concluded that it didn’t. And if not all, I have many of the worries being an adult entails.
Adulthood took me by surprise. I don’t know if it was when I had to pay for something big and I realized that it was either I funded it on my own or I dropped it, or when I had a major decision to take and my parents distinctly told me that whatever I decided on was my responsibility because I was an adult now.
I kind of reeled backwards when I heard that and this brings me to stating one of the hardest parts of being an adult. It’s the fact that whatever decision you make, you take sole responsibility for it. They don’t call your parents to see and take part responsibility for your misdemeanours. And they don’t immediately think of your parents in your moments of victory. Your successes and failures are entirely on you. It’s a heady thought but it’s daunting at the same time.
I remember when I was growing up and my Mum, when I did something wrong, would say, “Now, I can only discipline you for this and soon enough you’ll forget this ever happened. But a time will come where the punishment would be worse and best believe that you’ll never forget it.” Too valid to a fault.
With adulthood, that common phrase of, “She’s just a child and doesn’t know what she’s doing,” doesn’t exist. No one assumes that you didn’t know. Everyone says “You should have known better” because somehow, it is expected that we do know everything as adults. Know what is right and what is wrong. What is a good path and what would lead to destruction.
Even though this may be enough on its own, I’d like to a personal fact about adulthood which is that you’ve got to take care of yourself. I remember recently when I was really ill. In school and far from my parents and the people I love, it was then that I felt the full gravity of being alone. All the “stand up na. Just try to eat a bit. Let me help you bathe...” None of that is available.
So even when it feels like you’re about to collapse from the sickness, you’re fully aware that if you don’t stand up and prepare food for yourself, you will starve and nothing will happen to anyone. Hard fact but the honest truth.
I’m not going to begin a praise session for adulthood even though there are good parts to being an adult but as a little consolation to all my struggling adults out there, “You know if you were given the chance to be a child forever, you still wouldn’t have picked it.” Lol.
Jhymi🖤
Image is mine.
