January wasn't too good

January is the first month of the year and people try to start the month with positive vibes and they want to carry the positive vibes till the end of the month because people think that this is the month that determines how the whole year will be gone for a person. People believe that if the month remains well then the Year will be a positive and if the month goes bad then it will be a bad year for the person. Technically it's not true but people choose to believe it and it's their choice.

Although I don't believe in such kind of thing, I wanted a positive start of the Year. But in this uncertain life, nothing is granted and anything can happen anytime doesn't matter what we want. I am saying it because I started my new year in a hospital because I needed to stay in the hospital for one of my close relative's sudden sickness. It wasn't a good start but it was not the worst thing that happened to me this January.

On 23 January my honors final year exam started. And so naturally I was facing a busy time with my study. My mother and siblings went to the village to attend a family program. So my father and I were at home. On 20th January after taking breakfast my father went away for a walk and I started doing my study. Approximately 1 hour later my father returned and went to the bedroom. It was a very natural thing and nothing was bothering me. I don't know why after the time I felt a little bit suspicious not hearing any sound of my father. It's because he used to call someone when he remained free. So I went to the bedroom and I noticed my father was lying on the bed covered with a blanket. Naturally, my father didn't sleep at that time. I asked him what happened and later I realized he was feeling too much cold and he was feeling dizzy from the morning. His body started to cold and he was feeling bad with ongoing time.

In the beginning, I became angry for not telling me about his situation and I wanted to take him to a hospital because didn't want to take any kind of risk. He refused to go and said he wanted to wait a little bit. Naturally, I am mentally strong but I become cluelessness in that kind of situation and what to do. I was trying my best whatever could be done to take care of him but I felt I was not good at it. An Unknown fear took control of my mind. I called my mother immediately and informed her about the situation and told her to return as fast as possible. Hey, returned within 4 hours.

That 4 hours I was so much tense that I can't explain how bad, how helpless I was feeling at that time. The fear of losing my father came to my mind. I faced that kind of situation several times I had never faced that kind of helpless situation alone which made me afraid. In that whole day, I wasn't able to concentrate on my studies even if my father felt better after some hours. I don't want to face that kind of situation again. I think it was one of the worst situations in my life. My words may sound simple but the feelings were very critical. I think the feeling of that time can't be expressed fully through work.

Considering the situation it was not a good month for me but I don't think it has any power to influence the whole year and I don't believe in it. I hope the next month will be positive 🙂.