Source: pixabay.com.
Self-love is an essential ingredient for enjoying emotional well-being, no matter what we do, if we don't value ourselves, it won't contribute to feeling good about ourselves. And this is something that depends on ourselves, and has nothing to do with the circumstances around us, although many times it can be seen somewhat distorted, since many times people tend to see it as something that results from achieving certain objectives, such as being popular, having a certain economic position or being attractive.
So we must be careful not to base our self-love on the expectations of the society in which we live, but on our own personal values.
And why is self-love important?
The most important reason is because it is linked to our self-love, and therefore carries all the positive emotional charge of self-concept. On the one hand, we have the information of what we have done in our lives and on the other hand, we have the record of the emotions associated with our own biography.
Self-love is so important that it can impel us to change our proposed objectives in the medium and long term if we begin to feel that the actions taken to achieve them, even if we are doing them well, do not speak well of us. That is why it is very important to stop and listen to that voice inside us that helps us to regulate it and that mediates when it comes to judging ourselves.
Some tips to increase self-love
First of all, we must say that this aspect of the human psyche is part of our emotional dimension, so cultivating it is not something that can be done by simple reflection, since it goes beyond reasoning. While it is true that the power of logic will help us in our work, it is not enough to change our self-love and perception of ourselves.
Source: pixabay.com.
But these are some tips that we can take into account:
Analyze the values of your reference group
Our self-love is influenced by our reference group. For example, if we assume that it is normal to fit into the popular group or be among the elite students, not achieving the academic goals of others or being so popular with peers could undermine our self-love, since within those circles those are the aspects that are valued. On the other hand, having the same personality, we might be able to socialize more in a more heterogeneous group. So the key is to choose well the space where to socialize, since this creates a frame of reference from which we start to value our own competences.
Stay away from negative people
Although it may not seem like it, there are people whose way of socializing is always to be negative, sometimes making other people feel bad about themselves. It is a dangerous dynamic in which, a condition is created in which constant criticism becomes valuable for us, so that the person who criticizes remains by our side. It is a way of lending our self-respect, since that person wears it out with the only benefit of staying by our side. That is why it is extremely important to get away from negative people who make criticism their social strategy, either by breaking that relationship or by encouraging them to change their attitude if possible.
Know your strengths and weaknesses well
To have very clear which are those qualities of ours that make us imperfect or limit us in some occasions, as well as to have pointed out those that we consider positive and that help us to stand out, is fundamental to have a reference of our initial condition.
Thus, it will be easier to detect those moments in which our emotional state in front of a particular situation may be distorting our self-concept, which is already something that changes to some extent. That is to say, if only for a moment we think that a quality we thought was positive does not seem to be so, we could begin to question whether other similar qualities are not right.
Source: pixabay.com.
Dare to meet people
The more people who meet each other, the more likely it is that we will find people to really connect with, and to make us see things in ourselves that others do not see. As I see it, you can think of yourself using the categories and adjectives you are used to using with the people you socialize with. Thus, if the words that can be used to refer to our qualities and strengths are used very little by our social circle, it is very unlikely that we will pay attention to them.
Charles Chaplin wrote a great poem called "When I really loved myself", in it he describes many concepts, and on this subject he says
"As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first, I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is LOVE OF ONESELF."
So my reader friend, loving yourself will bring positive results in all areas of your life. By feeling at ease with yourself, you will be able to think clearly and focus more easily on your work and your duties. Self-love encourages concentration, gives you clarity of your abilities and silences the voice of fear.
