Most times, because of our makeup and how we are wired, it is not uncommon for people to reciprocate an ill behaviour with an ill response. This is so much inherent in humans that some people's subconscious mind is tilted towards "responding in like manner" even against what they may have resolved within themselves.
Sometimes ago, I read a psychology research which involved 65 college students. They were given some tasks to perform which included some hedonic acts and some complementary selfless acts (like helping others), it was discovered that there is a particular "feel good" effect that is attached to doing good to others than seeking just your own good, as revealed by the students. This has led me to believe that, as humans, you will feel more fulfilled when your actions are tilted towards the greater good of humanity.
Another psychology publication has gone to validate the fact that doing good is a higher form of feeling good. That is; it is way more important for someone to do good than just feeling good. Doing good can make one feel good but the reverse is not always true because, feeling good can also be derived from hedonic acts which do not translate to doing good.
For someone that may think that they are wired to respond badly to situations. Well, science has also proven that you can actually rewire your brain to act differently. ref. That means, each time you have the inner urge to respond to a situation with negative or bad action but you decide to suppress the urge and do something better, you are constantly rewiring your brain to tilt towards the right direction and it won't be long, you will gain mastery of goodness.
We should also try to remember that there is a measure of goodness even in the worst of them all. In the same way, there's also a measure of the "flip side" in the best of them all - It is only a function of their choice. Doing good and following goodness with people is not a gift but it is borne out of a conscious choice which anyone can make irrespective of their status.
If someone does an ill to you and you reciprocate with something ill, then you are not different from the person. In the world full of cruelty and misdeeds, the only way to make the difference is to be entirely different. When you reciprocate someone's bad with bad, how does it make you feel? Does it okay the deeds and make it good? Believe me, bad is bad, no matter if it was done in response to another bad. The only way to win against bad is by reciprocating with good.
You don't need someone to do good to you before your goodness will be done to others - let your goodness be a lifestyle and you will be surprised how you can turn the world around you and make it a better place by just your acts of goodness. The message of hope you have to the world is only substantiated by your actions. Even if your words are soothing and kind but your actions are very cruel, then your goodness is very questionable.
You are defined, not necessarily by your words but your complementary actions. This is obviously the reason the old proverb has it that "actions speak loudest". You may profess goodness but if your actions do not substantiate it, then the words are already futile. Whatever happens, always know that you are responsible for your actions.
You can also read this article on psychology of doing good.
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