In our tradition here in Nigeria, we have 3 ceremonies before a girl finally leaves her 'father's' house and goes over to her 'husband's' house.
- The Introduction is sort of like an engagement party; the man comes over with his family and some drinks to the girl's house. The girl's family welcomes the guy's family with drinks of their own, etc. Different traditions have different pattern or programmes.
I believe in the olden days this 'introduction' or 'knocking of door' as it is casually called, was actually the first official meeting of the couple. In those days, a girl would only hear from her parents that a young man would be coming to marry her on a certain day and she ought to get herself ready.
In these days, we try to recreate the aspect of 'not knowing'. The lady is locked up in her room until her kinsmen call for her to come out for like 5 minutes before they take her back into her bedroom.
The bride legit says only like 2 words all through the event.
Before I forget, women are not exactly allowed to speak at these gatherings. Did I hear you say 'patriarchy'? Just like the old days, women are still not allowed to talk at these events. They are not allowed to introduce themselves or say who they are. The men, however, can speak extensively about who they are and who what title they or their family holds.
I think it is absurd though, and in my introduction, I probably will break protocol. They should shit their pants if they have a problem with it.
This event, naturally, should not take more than 2 hours.
The bride's family provides a list to the groom's family with a list of items that they are to present at the next event. In the old days, the list would contain things like;
1 white virgin fowl
1 kola nut from the top of the tree
2 alligator pepper from the mouth of the alligator.
A keg of palmwine
1 cheap wrapper for the girl; coz who really gave a damn at that time.
You know, things that were unnecessary, but just fancy to have.
These days, however, the list of marriage items is dependent on the wealth of the man's family and the greed of the woman's.
I certainly won't be surprised if my list has something as silly as a ps5 for my brothers. Yup, it can be that absurd if they want it to be.
Whatever they ask for, some items are constant, like the trunk box. Every married woman has a trunk box. It's a MUST! All these items are presented at the next event.
- The traditional marriage: At this event, they celebrate the send forth of the girl and she is completely married, TRADITIONALLY. Some couples actually have this and move on without the third event.
All these events are so time-consuming and expensive, but you know, Tradition demands and all.
So, the items are presented, the lady is brought out in her best attire, there's dancing, the official presenting of the man to her parents, prayers here and there and you know... Food!
- The final and the most expensive is the white wedding. I consider this to be very unimportant, so, I will not waste my energy on it right now.
The essence of this write up, is the sweet fact that my brother @belemo just completed the first stage with his beloved @wolfofnostreet and we had an amazing time with her family.
I was hoping I would be there when he gave her the ring, but meh...
And I looked exceptionally peng at the event, coz why the fuck not??!!
It was so much fun. The 1 hour 30 minutes road trip and all.
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