Hello everyone!
This has been a very spur-of-the-moment decision to compose a mandatory birthday post because I should be preparing now for our freediving in Moalboal. Time check: I'm starting this at 10:50 PM (Philippine time) and probably be uploading this by the time I officially turn 28 years old.
It has been a mix of emotions because I was really pissed earlier for reasons I wouldn't expound here. I don't want to think about it now, but let's just say I never learned. I have been falling for the same trap over and over, but I still couldn't recognize the signs. I hope that as I turn one year older, I'll be more discerning. I'm mostly pissed with myself and with the situation but still couldn't recognize that the other parties involved are equally culpable. Anyway, let's not dwell on those things.
As I review my year, I realized that I didn't have anything remarkable last year during this time. I mostly review my Google Photos to see if I have some stored photos, but there were none. As I reviewed my posts, I was surprised that I wrote this:
As I read that post, I can't help but grin at my rant. What I said last year still rings true for me today. One thing is different though. I don't feel like I'm 17 anymore. I have to act my age because as I've said, I'm not getting any younger. I'm still lost in terms of setting goals in life and achieving them, but I'm more accepting of that part of me now compared to last year. Now I understand why my wordings in that post came off as strong. I felt that I was really depressed last year due to the pandemic and it was exacerbated by my work, which I eventually resigned two months after. Turned out to be the best decision I have made so far.
To be honest, I'm so proud and grateful to my younger self for having that conviction to pursue what I wanted at that time amidst all the uncertainties in life. I have so much to thank for that decision that altered the course of my life.
Let me share this: My colleague from my previous work who became one of my best friends told me that he was really amazed by my unwavering conviction to resign in the middle of the pandemic. He added that it felt like I was able to foresee the future. He even jested that I was playing a very good game of 4D chess due to that decision. I felt otherwise. I felt that it was the only logical decision at that time. It's either go and figure out something later or continue to spiral down into depression. The reason why I felt I was depressed at that time was that I didn't want to wake up anymore. I didn't care about the work anymore and my productivity was really affected.
My boss told me that it was not a wise decision to resign because everything was so uncertain due to the pandemic. I thought that staying is not wise either. I chose myself and I'm glad I did. If I stayed in that company, I would probably be dead by now. Maybe not from COVID but the frustration of the company's inaction. Just this month, one engineer died because of COVID and the company didn't even send an oxygen tank when he had difficulty breathing. Guess what? That engineer was my subordinate! He was 26. There was a COVID transmission within the team and the company did nothing or did something but couldn't be felt. Now imagine if I stayed in the company?
Side note: I said something in one of my posts that I won't worry if no one will read my blog because my older self will be my first and foremost audience. It has been proven today when I read my post last year. It allowed me to assess my level of thinking and my growth in just a year. I'm forever grateful to Hive for this.
As I grow a year older, I still choose to celebrate this special day for me with you all here in Hive. You are all awesome and what I have now is all because of you. I have been expressing my gratitude to a lot of people in some of my posts, but I will mention them again here.
First of all, thank you @acidyo for the trust in giving me a job in OCD. Without it, I would probably be still struggling to create content every single day. Thank you for granting me almost all the authority in running OCD and I love every single job you're giving me. Rest assured that I'll continue to work in OCD as long as my service is needed. Sana masarap ang ulam mo ngayon.
Second, to the curators and community leaders of OCD, you're all awesome! Thank you so much for the lessons I learned from you every single day. I considered you all as my colleagues so your inputs and opinions are really helpful.
Third, to the @pinmapple team, thank you for including me as the curator of the most awesome travel community in Hive. Thank you @livinguktaiwan and @martibis for accepting me. You don't know how happy I was when Pauline contacted me on Discord if I was open to being a @pinmapple curator. As a travel content creator, it's a nod to my travel blogs. I'm also learning a lot from you even to this day.
I already mentioned @glecerioberto in my post last year and I'll mention him again this year for being my constant companion. As always, he already had his life mapped out and his goals are really clear. My life has a little semblance of clarity because of his constant reminder to achieve my goals. Even with posting, he's always pushing me to post within the day. I'm just so stubborn that I still struggle to post something regularly. Thank you for inspiring me to go to the gym and have that body goal. You and Ivana have been a constant through the years. My only request is for you two to be there when I fuck up in life. You have your advice, but you know how stubborn I am, especially when fixated with something or someone.
Since I'm now into freediving, thank you @patsitivity, @glecerioberto, and Gelo for being my constant freediving companions. To more freediving sessions with you!
Thank you @thegaillery for being my co-existence work buddy. You also have been my constant companion through the years. I always cherish the times that we're together because they're always insightful. I always look inward whenever I have conversations with you.
Special mention and thanks to @purepinay for the constant food deliveries. Please don't have food delivered today because I will not be in the house. 😂 Thank you Gil for being such an awesome soul. You always wanted me to eat every single time we meet. For everyone's information, Gil had some food delivered to my house about 3 times already. Also, whenever I visit her, she always wanted me to bring her food home. When I had my first dose of the COVID vaccine and had side effects, she had food and hot pho delivered to my house just to make me feel better.
Lastly, thank you @indayclara for the gift of friendship. I always appreciate your presence in my life especially now that we're also into freediving. You have been a confidant. I don't know why or how, but our very polar opposite personalities just clicked. See you later gurl!
I have a lot of people both on and off-chain to thank, but this post will not end. I still have to prepare for our Moalboal vacation later so I have to end this here. Maybe I'll just edit this later to add those people I need to be included here. I think this birthday is the first that I have the say on what I want to do. I'm just grateful I have that liberty now.
Thank you again Hive! It's not about the money. It's about having my own time at my disposal. It's what you have afforded me that I'm always grateful for. Now I should prepare my things because we will be early for our Moalboal trip. Have a great day everyone!
Kim Ybañez
Welcome to Kim's small corner in Hive. He is a chemical engineer by profession, but a blogger by passion. He is a wanderlust and an adventure seeker. Join his quests as he visits secluded destinations, climbs mountains, tries new and exotic dishes, and explores his country (The Philippines). He's also a trying hard photographer so stay tuned as he shares his photos and his thought process while creating them.
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