Dealing with Internal Battles

No matter what happens, I'm still grateful. I'm still grateful that I have people that I can depend on when I'm down. I don't expect much from people, but I'm just happy to have those I can talk to about anything. Opening the problem to someone is my form of coping mechanism. I feel better after talking about my situation. The problem is choosing the right person who will listen to your stuff no matter how trivial or silly that stuff to them. I'm just blessed to have those people around.

Don't worry, I'm okay now.

I was really unproductive (at least to my standards) last week because everything just became too overwhelming. I think it started last Friday when I suddenly felt this sudden surge of emotions for no apparent reason. It was so overwhelming that I couldn't function. I just wanted to sleep, which I did almost the whole day. It's mostly sad and angry emotions, but it was a jumbled mess. I feel sad for no reason. I was angry at the world but grateful at the same time. It was really strange that I couldn't think straight to achieve my tasks for the day.

I was supposed to go to USC for my part-time work, but I didn't. I didn't want to get up. I even said sorry to @acidyo for not being active in my OCD duties last Friday and Saturday. Good thing he was cool with it (as always). He even advised me to keep on working because everything will be worth it soon. I'm just grateful for this kind of work (since I'm working for Hive full time) because I don't have a deadline. I think that if I was still in manufacturing during that time, I would have been grumpy and irritated until now.

I guess I'll be better at handling it next time, if ever it will happen again.

I realized that the best way to deal with those kinds of episodes is to recognize the emotions and let them flow. Suppressing them or brushing them off won't do any good. I had similar situations before where I felt a sudden surge of emotions that I couldn't understand because there's no reason or situation that warrants those emotions, but I didn't mind those episodes. Compared now that I recognized it, I felt better sooner than before. I'm just grateful for my constants in life.

I felt sorry for Ivana because we were supposed to meet last Saturday, but I was such a mess that I bailed out last minute. Good thing she totally understands.

Everyone's dealing with their own battles and I think the hardest fight happens inside of us. So, it's a big difference to be kind and considerate. Some might just be smiling and being bubbly, but they're dealing with a lot of hardships in life. They might be shouting for help, but no one listens to them.

If the people I talked to didn't understand what I've been going through at that time, I might have felt bad and I think that would have worsened my situation. That's why I'm grateful and I'll always be grateful.

Please be considerate to everyone. Peace out!

Kim Ybañez

Welcome to Kim's small corner in Hive. He is a chemical engineer by profession, but a blogger by passion. He is a wanderlust and an adventure seeker. Join his quests as he visits secluded destinations, climbs mountains, tries new and exotic dishes, and explores his country (The Philippines). He's also a trying hard photographer so stay tuned as he shares his photos and his thought process while creating them.

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