The next three days may be the last "beach" days of the year, which as an Australian, is always a bit of a weird thing to be keeping track of, but in Finland, it is part of the cultural habit. The summer has been unusually warm and with very little rain , which has been good for being outside, but our raspberries have suffered. And of course, for a few weeks, I wasn't feeling too good if out in the sun for too long anyway.
We are going to try to get to the actual sea on Monday or Tuesday, which is a couple hours drive away, as we live inland. we would have gone earlier, but I wasn't sure how long I could be outside and, my wife hates driving and I was on a "no drive list" for a month after the stroke. The beach we are planning is almost a real beach, with sand and everything - and it will be the first time Smallsteps will get to make a proper sand castle.
Should be fun.
I don't know why, but there is always something getting in the way of our plans. Well often, it is our own plans that get in the way of our previous plans. Like last year, we were planning on having my brother here and ended up buying a house, which we weren't planning at all. It would have been awesome, but then Corona put a halt to hosting duties and every other plans we had. However, we did get a massive amount of our renovation work done, far more than many people thought we were going to get completed.
This year, would have been the first year in about seven that my wife and I would have had our holidays mostly together and we planned on doing a lot of family activities, mostly day trips and a few hotel stays around the country with our daughter. Unfortunately, the stroke forced us to put a pin in all of that too, not only physically, but financially.
Because of my inability to work currently and a lack of secondary support likely, we have had to make a few alterations to our finances and I have been working to rearrange various things to make sure that we have enough available for our needs for the next couple months. I have even been stacking some stables just in case, as even though I know that the markets can go up, I feel that I can't risk it going down, if I need to fallback onto crypto.
Almost five years and some pretty tough financial situations and I still haven't fallen back on it yet, but if plans keep changing, eventually I will have to bite the bullet and pull a little out. Preparing for uncertainty sucks, when that uncertainty makes itself a reality. I am not looking forward to being forced "out" of crypto, but of course, while we can survive a lot of discomfort, family comes first and I will never willingly put them into hardship if there are alternatives.
There is a difference between discomfort and hardship though and I think that without experience, discomfort feels much worse than it actually is. Many people (including myself) haven't gone through what used to be common in the past, with wars and famine, high mortality and extreme working conditions. I wonder what people who go through that kind of thing daily (and there are many still facing this today) consider discomfort.
My own discomfort pales in comparison to many in this world, but I have always found comparing experiences limited in value, as it doesn't factor in the normal conditions faced by an individual. Sure, it seems very much like "first-world problems" but when people are inexperienced in hardship, what can really be expected? And, does anyone wish hardship upon others, just so that they can be grateful for what they had? That seems unhealthy too.
A lot of people would look at my current life and would probably like to be in my shoes, but that would be in my shoes as they are now. If they had to be in my shoes as me, they would likely think a little differently. Even though I am very grateful for much of my life, I wouldn't say it has been an easy one to live, even though for the most part, I have had a roof over my head and enough food to eat - which is more than many in this world.
My wife has had a different life than my own too and I think it is hard at times for her to come to terms with the differences of living with a foreigner. While cultural differences and language issues and the like seem like the biggest challenges, one of the major problems is the difference in economic experience and availability. Many people who emigrate to a country have to rebuild a life, and that doesn't usually come with backing and inheritances, meaning that the financial things that many locals have access to, a foreigner doesn't.
In this regard I have been pretty lucky though, as I have been fortunate enough to do the work and get in front of the right people and make the right impression, that I have been able to build a presence up for continued work. Still, I am still a first generation immigrant and haven't had even the small bits of economic support that many Finns are accustomed to, even if their parents aren't wealthy. For example, I have never had a free place to stay, nor had someone buy my groceries.
I think that part of the reason that I am looking for ownership, responsibility and economic self-sufficiency is because I haven't had that safety net and have had to provide for myself. I wonder if I had stayed in Australia where I had more access to support and likely an easier time in regards to employment and culture in general, would I have ended up so drawn into crypto, economics and building a financial base. I wonder if I would ever have started my own business at all.
It is impossible to say exactly what would have happened, but it is likely that things would have been very different if I had stayed in my job, kept the house I bought at 20 and been spending time with the friends I grew up with, in the city I knew, speaking the same language as everyone else.
At the time, leaving Australia seemed like an easy decision, as I was only going to be gone a year, working and travelling a bit. However, the tough call has been made many other times in my life here since, where I have chosen to stay, despite things not going well for me at the time. It is funny though, while I have wondered what it would be like if I had gone back or if I went back now, I feel quite at home in Finland, even though I hardly blend into my surroundings and will be seen as a foreigner here forever.
Life is filled with plans that get changed and hard decisions made, but it is also these decisions that make life worth living. I have made plenty of mistakes in my life, but all of them have led me to many good things too, things I wouldn't have chosen otherwise. Sometimes, the best things that can happen to us are for forced changes in our plans that push us to make the tough calls in uncomfortable and less than ideal conditions, as they make us do things we might not have if we have the time, space, money and opportunity to do what we are comfortable in doing.
I wish I could provide an easier life for my wife and daughter and perhaps one day it will happen, but until then, I guess we are all learning together as a family and the discomfort of circumstance, might be what we value later in life together. For now, we get to enjoy when we can and treat our daughter to what we can, as we can. Sure, we have to make a few tough calls along the way, but where would we be if we didn't?
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]