Out of 81 students, only 37 proceeded to the next school year! And I’m happy to share with you that I’m included in that list of 37 students!
Studying Accountancy in the Philippines is no joke! No matter how hard I tried to find the right word to describe how elated I was when I saw the test result, I couldn’t find any word that suited my overflowing emotions that time!
I got a grade lower than 85!
My first year of college life has been a roller coaster ride, especially with online classes. It was so hard to adapt to this new education system. I had no peers and classmates to ask for help if a lesson’s concept was blurry, as most of us also did not know how things were running. I am afraid to ask my friends because I know they have their burden, and I don’t want to add.
I mentioned before that I was an over-achiever. Getting a grade lower than 90 is really a disappointment. A grade of 90 is even low for my standards. This situation fueled my doubt about my capabilities. :( My mindset’s kinda errr, I know, haha. I'm gradually changing it as I realized, each of us has our own capabilities, and of course, limitations.
Squid Game: Academe Version
So, why do I have to take a qualifying exam to be able to proceed to 2nd year?
In our school, if you happen to get a grade lower than 2.00 (85) on one or more subjects, you have to take a qualifying exam. And sadly, I get lower than 85 in my major subject: Financial Accounting and Reporting.
I was shocked! In my whole life, I thought the intelligence I had was enough to ace college. I overestimated myself! And sadly, I learned it the hard way.
Every school year, our accountancy department is obliged to reduce its accountancy students by 50% at most! (This is what I heard from our seniors) So, the game is not yet over, as 18 students will probably be eliminated this academic year, again. sighs.
Honestly, this policy feels like every survival game I watched; Battle Royale, Tag, As the God’s Will, Alice in the Borderland, Squid Game, etc.
Meme template came from here.
Suppose you’re wondering why my school implements an anti-poor protocol. In that case, it’s because our school belongs to the top-rated schools on CPA Board Exam! “They have to take care of their image,” someone says.
Ironically, I shared with you how I hated my life when my family obliged me to take Accountancy just because it’s an “easy-money job,” lol. But here I am, fighting for my spot as an aspiring CPA, lmao.
Well, I can’t blame myself for being this competitive. I do love challenges!
Proving my worth to my family is my kind of game, and disappointments are my game overs.
Here are the things that I did:
1. Time management
I arranged my schedule with Excel and Notion. I studied and worked accordingly (I’m a freelancer, remember?) I am wide awake from 7 AM to 4 AM. Unhealthy sleep schedule, I know. I’m quite surprised that I’m still alive now, lol.
I uninstalled all the applications that usually eat a lot of my time, surely affecting my review sessions. These involve Mobile Legends, Call of Duty, and Twitter. But after a week, I re-install Twitter T^T. Sometimes, things aren’t meant to be limited, hehe. This is just me, convincing myself about my lack of self-discipline, lol.
Balancing my time was pretty hard. I have to attend my summer classes, work as a freelancer, and study for my upcoming qualifying exam all at the same time! Quite a warrior, isn’t it?
2. Manifesting technique
I wrote on every paper the phrase “TOP 5 AKO SA QUALI!!” which means “I belong to the top 5 of our qualifying exam!!” If you would notice, it’s written in capital letters and has many exclamation points. Basically, I’m shouting at myself, HAHAHA.
I learned this manifesting technique on Twitter. I’m really not this type of person. A person that finds her inspiration on a piece of paper with such pessimistic writing. But I guess people do really change, don’t they? And if it works for me, why shouldn’t I incorporate it into my daily life, right?
3. Review with peers
If there’s one thing I realized during this era of online education, that is, “I cannot succeed on my own.” I underestimated the power of my social network. I underestimated how powerful social life is.
“I cannot succeed on my own.” is really a hard pill to swallow.
I wanted to be alone. But COVID-19 changed how I view the world and the people around me.
No own room? No problem!
This is my humble study area. It was tough to study without a room. And tougher when our neighborhood will play their karaoke almost every day while I’m reviewing and working. And toughest when you wanted to cry for help, but it would just echo in your own mind, remembering that all you have is your own.
And I’m aware that all the people around me have emotional baggage of their own, so as much as possible, I’ll resolve everything myself. I remember crying during and after my qualifying exams. Glad that during my examination, I only cried for 5 minutes. Whoo! “Time matters,” I innerly shout at myself.
After the exams, I remember doubting myself that I would pass. I didn’t even doubt my capabilities before! Ahhh… This pandemic really ruined my confidence. sighs
My drama after exam
I remember writing a poem shouting how I want to end everything because all the pressures build upon me; the pressure as the eldest child who has the responsibility to take over the college educations of her other two siblings, the pressure from work, the pressure on passing the exam, and the fear that if I happen not to pass, I’ll be a burden to my dad who has been in the Saudi as OFW for the past 12 years. I even removed my password on my phone for them to read my poem.
I cried 10 hours straight after my exam. That was tough, whoo! Luckily, my mental health was stronger than all those pressures!
So please, always check your besties who have weak mental health. They need us!
I am crying while writing this, what the hell HAHAHA. All the emotions are coming back. But I’ll seek help. I promise! It’s just that I do not have time and the financial capability for it as of now.
Education is a privilege, indeed.
I realized that education in the Philippines is indeed a privilege, not a right. Although our Constitution states that it is a right, I think of it otherwise. If a person can retake a CPA Board exam, why a student can’t? Why does a single exam would dictate and end their dream?
That’s why I cannot fully appreciate this winning moment because 44 other students lose their chance to be a CPA. I empathized with their feelings, as I was once robbed of my dream course, too!
A school shouldn’t gatekeep those who are not able to keep up with their standards. They shouldn’t tag themselves as the maker of the greats if those great people they “made” have been great even before them. And if they constantly neglect the students who have the passion but did not pass their grade requirement.
Let me know your bits of advice, opinions, and word of inspiration in the comments! I’m willing to be educated about how I view this kind of policy! Stay tuned as I’ll be uploading Part 2 about the other factors that made me achieve this milestone! Have a great day, everyone!
