Four Weeks Into Being A New Dad - SO TIRED!

I've Never Been So Sleep Deprived

I have to admit, I completely forgot how utterly exhausting it is to have a newborn. I've basically been a walking zombie for the past 4 weeks. I don't know what day of the week it is, what time it is, or often if it is morning or night!

Putting on a happy face! On the way to the gardens for a walk - The only time we leave the house these days.

You see, my wife and I started off taking turns waking up to feed the baby. But that wasn't really working out. We initially would put the bassinet next to whomever was going to be waking up to feed him, but we both kept freaking out and waking up with every little sound. After about a week of zero sleep for both of us, we decided to change it up.

Can't you see that I'm awake? Pick me up, already!

For the last 3 weeks, I have been staying up all night, and sleeping in the morning, while my wife sleeps in the evening. Unfortunately we live in a loft apartment, so there are no doors to close and no way to get away from light or sound. So whoever is sleeping has to wear a mask and earplugs.

We having been reading this book called Twelve Hours' Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old by Suzy Giordano. So far so good. Basically, starting at around 4 weeks, you begin training the baby to get all of its food in during the day, then they sleep for 12 hours at night. Obviously we've just started, so we have a ways to go.

He sleeps just fine as long as he's on your lap. Don't dare put him down!

I've had a bit of difficulty getting used to the routine because I've also been getting some pretty severe bouts of anxiety from what I believe to be a stomach ulcer that formed during extreme stress while my wife was giving birth. She was having some complications because every time she had a contraction, then baby's heart rate would drop from 150BPM to around 50. They ended up having to do an emergency c-section. Unfortunately, all of the stress must have done something to my stomach because it has been burning ever since! I've been to a doctor and hopefully we'll have it worked out soon. But it has been super rough!

I don't know if I'm coming or going. Holy crap am I out of it...

On the up side, I've seemed to have gotten little Ricky down to about 1 middle of the night feeding (at around 2am) and another one around 5am or so. Part of the problem is getting him back to sleep once he has eaten. By some miracle of God he went right to sleep this morning! I am posting this at 4:13am, so fingers crossed he'll sleep a bit longer.

Dreaming About Dreaming

All I can say is that I love the little guy to pieces, but boy am I looking forward to the day when I can get a full night's sleep in again. I am certainly feeling the pain of being in my 40s! To all you 20 somethings... Don't think it's a long way away because it isn't. I promise you! My wife and I got together when I was 29. We went nuts, traveled around the world, visited all kinds of places. We had a ton of fun and finally settled down for a couple of years in one place. All of a sudden it hit me that I was over 40.

These toys are stupid! Just carry me around all day. Or I will scream!

Where the hell did the time go? I'm telling you - it hit me like a pile of bricks. All that being said, it is a miracle that I am able to do this - be a dad again. I just hope that I can survive this sleepless stage!

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