Oh what has the world become? It wasn't too long ago I sat around with a few mates drinking a few cold ones when the discussion turned to dating. We weren't discussing dates we have been on as we are all in long term relationships and with kids of our own.
But rather the discussion turned to the confusion on what one would do and how you would do it in the modern world because dating isn't as simple as going up and asking someone out anymore. It was an intriguing discussion and not one I would particularly worry about but with kids of my own, it is something I worry about. Not that I should worry about the dating lives of my young children but more the current trends.
Dating has always been a somewhat one sided play, boy meets girl, boy chases girl and girl says no. Not saying the girl should say yes people have every right to say no. But lets face it boys, if you weren't a popular lad in school or considered a "dork" there would be no dates for you.
That's even before we get to the financial side of things and I don't want to generalise here because I am sure there are plenty of women that don't focus on money. However, money has always been the running joke when it comes to wooing a partner. Not to mention a significant amount of dating bios list "financial security" as a requirement.
But none of these things particularly worried me or concerned me as I have been with my partner for quite some time so I missed all these things. we've always been big on building things together and sharing which I think a lot of people do but isn't focused on enough and it provides a misrepresentation and sets a false example.
Influencers, Madness and Dating
But if it wasn't already hard to secure that date if you aren't part of the sports team and wealthy things have been taken up a notch which surprised me. So in our yarn with a few beers my mate raises that he is having trouble with one of his sons because he is trying to grow a large social media following.
He's not big on social media and for us it wasn't really that much of a thing and it wasn't such a big part of our lives as kids. But what's happening now is that people no longer trade phone numbers to have real conversations instead they trade social media accounts and unless you're an influencer or have a large following then you're not likely to get an add.
At first we jokes about it and checked our own followings and being born in the 80s none of us had that large amount of followers. So we jokes and said we'd remain single all our lives.
But I've been looking into this issue lately and it appears to be an actual thing with many dating blogs suggesting the "optimal" amount of followers for a guy to have. Even one article states that you want a guy with a minimum of 1000 likes because that means he is universally attractive.
There are also warnings that over 10,000 followers means they are too attractive and may leave you.
WTF?
Still not meh about it? Well there is even information on a number of blogs that lists the ideal amount of followers and following and some blogs have even raised this as a "Red Flag". I mean to me a Red Flag would probably be abusive, aggressive, hostile and a whole lot of other things prior to even thinking about or caring about how many people follow someone.
Don't get me going on location of pictures, apparently pictures always in the same area or same friends means they don't have money to go anywhere else and is another "Red Flag".
The media tends to dominate men's behaviour and bad behaviour should always be called out but, we also seem to let pass bad behaviour from women and girls.
I guess the world has changed and I am just an out of touch old cranky man or perhaps there is merit in questioning what is occurring. What are your thoughts?
Images sourced from CANVA Pro