I took that advice a little while ago and resigned from my job, some of you may recall. I finished up at work a week ago today and since have...Well, I haven't taken much rest to be honest. Without a job to move on to I had expected to spend some time floating about but I've been quite busy. There's been a few catch-ups with people I know, many phone conversations and even a little time spent looking for potential new work scenarios; the latter quite halfheartedly I'll admit.
I'm not in any rush to get back into the workforce and intend to be a little protective of myself in that way, not jump at the first thing that comes along; I value my skills, am good at what I do, but I value my life more so will will be selective. That's the plan anyway. If I start running out of money I might find myself walking the streets in a mini skirt, high heels and sexy bra looking for options. I jest of course. Or do I?
I plan to be still inside after many years of working [G-dog does a quick calculation...] Thirty eight years of working. I plan to be so still and quiet inside that I can hear myself, relearn who I am and embrace that about myself. It's selfish I know, and that's the point.
Someone said to me the other day, "G-dog, what will you do with yourself, you're so driven and goal-focused. You'll be lost."
Nope; not even close. I'm still goal-focused, it's just that the goal has changed, for now at least. The goal is peace and quiet, or at least the sort of quiet that allows me to hear myself.
Today I went to a café for a bite and coffee. I figured I'd people watch and see what I learned. I tend to do this sometimes as it helps me understand people better and leaves me with a feeling of having interacted with society without actually having to.
I sat back and allowed myself to sink into the beat, to fall into the music that disconnected me from the world but allowed me to hear myself a little better - You probably don't know what I mean. It's a feeling I suppose. It's a detachment from the world and an attachment to myself and it's a connection that can be difficult for me to find with all the other life-stuff spinning around inside. Finding that attachment allows me to think, or to blank-out and find some rest.
Today was the first day I felt settled and rested. It's like the weight of thirty eight years of
slavery working is falling away little by little. Today I could breathe, yes even in that noisy café surrounded by others.
I ate lunch, a chicken Caesar wrap with sweet potato fries and had a couple coffees, as I watched people come and go. I guess I was there for a couple hours before I'd had enough and decided to move on. It was good for me until it wasn't and then I went hiking. That was better.
It's been a long time since I've had the ability to pull right back like this. Sure, I've had holidays and vacations with extended time off work but that's different. This feels more real and I feel it will be very good for me. I'm not sure where it'll lead. Another job. Part time or casual work. No work. I don't know to be honest however I feel I'll come out the other side of whatever this is and feel better though; Know better and be better.
So that's what's up on Wednesday folks. It's been a pretty relaxed day so far and walking earlier in the day was kind nice as usually it's late and the sun is low to the west. I'll do some crypto stuff now I guess...Maybe have a snooze. Let me know about your Wednesday in the comments below.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
All images are my own