For Young People: It Is Easy To Have A Perfect Marriage, You Just Have To Do What This Article Says

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The Huge Mistake Many Young People Make When It Comes To Marriage
Every growing young man or woman eventually wants to settle down and have a family with a spouse he or she loves. It is a natural desire.
Ask many young people today the how they want their marriage to be and the type of person they want to marry and they will roll out a list of attributes and qualities, most of them heaven-far and ones they themselves don't even have.
Yes it is good to desire to have an excellent spouse, but there is something far better.

You Have To Work On Yourself To Have The Kind Of Attributes And Qualities Your Spouse Will Enjoy When You Eventually Marry.

 

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Yes, that is the thing. You have to work on yourself. You have to develop yourself in every aspect. You have to make yourself better. You have to weed out your weaknesses and build your strengths. You have to acquire every wonderful characteristic that will ensure the happiness of your future wife/husband.

It All Amounts To Selfishness

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Yes if you don't do this working on yourself to be the perfect husband or wife to your spouse instead of focusing on marrying the perfect man or woman, then it amounts to gross selfishness. Why?  Because you don't care about the man or woman you are going to marry. You want to marry a perfectly crafted person and enjoy the person and yourself will be badly made and the person will endure you. Isn't that selfishness? You have to start gravitating your thought towards being the type of person your spouse will enjoy and be proud of in every aspect.
The Recipe For The Perfect Union/Marriage
Yes there is a recipe, and it is what we have just talked about. To tie the perfect marital knot, you have to first of all focus on becoming the right man or woman. You have to work on yourself. To eliminate your weaknesses and make your strengths more profound. To make yourself a person your spouse will love because of the kind of exceptional person you are.
Secondly you have to focus on marrying the other person with the right attributes. A woman or man that will have all the great and fantastic characteristics you both need to build a happy home together.
When this happens, you will be the type of person your spouse will be happy and love to live with. And your spouse will be that type of person to you. By that both of you will be happy you married each other and be satisfied with your union.
Imagine marrying a wonderful person when yourself are lacking in many important aspects. You will enjoy your spouse but he or she will only endure you. By that only one party will be happy in the marriage, and like I said that amounts to selfishness.
In fact the truth of the matter is that yourself won't be happy seeing your spouse always distraught and troubled at your failings and weak points. So to have the perfect matriage, focus on forging yourself into the perfect spouse and marrying the perfect spouse yourself.

How To Make Youself The Perfect Spouse

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This simply involves developing every aspect of yourself. I wrote an article sometime back on this. You have to do work on yourself in five aspects: Intellectually, Psychologically/Mentally, And Physically and Spiritually.
By intellectually I mean building your intellect and acquiring necessary information. Becoming a person who is proficient in various fields of knowledge. Attend seminars, read books, take courses in various areas of knowledge. Improve on your talents and acquire skills, etc.
Also get all the knowledge that will come in handy when you eventually marry. You are preparing to get a woman or a man to live with you throughout your life. You need to study the temperaments of either the male or female gender. You need to be well acquainted with their psychology, way of thinking, reasoning, etc. This will help you know how to handle them and their weaknesses.
Also get knowledge about certain other things that will help you in marriage. How to tidy and clean the house ( even as a man you need this). How to do laundry. How to cook (important for women and men). How to engage in a conversation ( you are going to be alone with your spouse most of the time and you will have conversations). How to rear children, etc.
Working On yourself Mentally/Psychologically means working on your character, behavior, emotional personality and attitude. Rooting out your weaknesses and improving on your strengths.
Imagine marrying that wonderful woman with that your wicked temper. She will live a sad and subjugated life.  Imagine getting that  exceptional young man with your stubbornness and insubordination. He will regret marrying you. Or marrying with your careless attitude or anti-social behaviors. Your spouse will be forced into an uncomfortable corner. They may never tell you but they will regret ever marrying you.
So you need to be in the perfect shape psychologically and mentally to be the best wife or husband to your spouse.
You can do this by reading books related to psychological and mental development. Books about how to overcome bad habits and behaviors, etc. Attend seminars, seek advice from experts in this necessary field.

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You need also to develop yourself physically. Eat right, exercise right, take care of your body,have a blossoming health and be in good physical shape. You may not be blessed with physical attractiveness, but building yourself physically can make you physically attractive. We all know that's a quality every person desires in a potential spouse. Also you live a healthy life as a married spouse.
You should also build yourself spiritually. To have a home where righteousness will reign, you need to build yourself spiritually. To protect your spouse and children from hordes of evil powers you need to be spiritually strong. To able to even avoid sexual temptations after marriage. To be able to raise godly children in this polluted and wicked society you need yo build yourself spiritually. Remember that the church is a unit. So by building yourself ( and later your family), spiritually you make the church better off. Also the Holy Spirit can help you handle your weaknesses in marriage and make you a virtuous spouse to your husband or wife.
How do you do this? Get the three important Christian experiences: Salvation, Sanctification, and Holy Ghost Baptism. Pray to God for salvation. Reject your sins, crave salvation. Confess and forsake your sins, and ask Jesus to come into your life. Do all this with all seriousness and wholeheartedly. You may not feel anything immediately, but wait for it it will come.

Ask for sanctification. Pray and even fast for it. Use Bible scriptures about sanctification to remind God of his promises. And be persistent until it comes. Some sought it for years before they got it.
Also do the same for Holy Ghost Baptism, and you will get it.
So to be the perfect spouse develop every aspect of yourself both intellectually, psychologically/ mentally, an physically, and spiritually.

How To Get The Perfect Spouse

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# Be Clear On The Difference Between Lust And Love
Do some research on what true love is. Don't base you search for a partner solely on looks. Go by your heart and not by just your feelings. A man or woman you choose as your spouse should be one you have unconditional love for. That is the feeling of affection/love you have for him or her should not be based on their physical appearance or their affluence or their intelligence or any other attractive quality or attribute they may have.
First of all you have to know the kind of person you want as spouse. You should do some study on the relationship between the temperaments and marriage. You have to understand the fundamentals underlying the makings of a perfect union. Let's take for example you are a quiet thoughtful person. You are not very sociable. Your spouse should be a sociable person and one who is loves discussions and socializing. If you are a domineering person then you should look for someone who has a quiet and submissive nature, one who doesn't get angry easily, phlegmatic in temperament.
The reason for this age-old secret is that we are all made differently. Aand  the best marriages are built on relationships in which each party is strong in areas the other is weak, vice versa. If you are a careless person your spouse should be a careful person. If you are a talkative your spouse should be a listener. If you have a fiery temper, your spouse should be a person who is cool headed and even-tempered. All thia may appear meaningless to you until you consider that in a relationship that obeys this rule, each party of the relationship is strong where the other is weak and weak where they are strong. So the strength of one covers the weaknesses of the other. For example, the husband ( the kind of person I am) is quiet, not so sociable, has little fashion sense, thoughtful, not a good leader.

Then the wife has a boisterous temperament. The wife is very sociable, has great fashion sense, is talkative more than thoughtful. When these two people come together as a couple, the wife's talkativeness ( I'm talking about talkativeness in the positive sense) will cover his quietness. The husband may not be able to open up on some important issues but the wife being a person who always wants to talk can sense it in him and get it out of him. Or the wife in her talkativeness rarely gives chance to the person she is discussing with to talk. But because the husband is quiet he will give her all the space she needs to empty her heart. So in this case the husbands strength of being a good listener has covered the weakness of the wife of talkativeness in the conversation. If you see them having a conversation it would be a sight to behold, flowing effortlessly.  Imagine if the husband was also a talkative like her they won't have a satisfying conversation because they both would want to dominate the discussion. Also the husband is a quiet person he doesn't talk all the time, in fact he doesn't know what to talk when he is with someone. As his wife is dominating the conversation you will rarely notice that quietness as a weakness. Unlike when two very quiet people are discussing that's when you will notice their quietness as a weakness. Hope you get my point.
So you need to know the kind of man that will fit you, and what you want in marriage. The kind of person you want to live with. Do a study on the role of temperaments in marriage, and study yourself.
Also your search for a life partner needs to be based on true love. You shouldn't love that man or woman because of their beauty or handsomeness. Or because of  their wealth, education, intelligence, influence in society, etc. Ask yourself if all these qualities were taken away would I still love this woman, or man? The feeling of affection should be unconditional, it should not be based on fleeting things like looks, financial or social status, etc. This will help you discover yourself.
Also when searching for the right person go by your heart. Once you get rid of all the empty feelings, it will be easier for you to know if that woman or man you have been seeing  around is fit to be your spouse. In fact once you foster an atmosphere of unconditional  in your heart it would be very easy to know someone who can be in your life as your spouse. It is as simple as that.
Then there is the role of prayer. As smart as we may be, as coordinated as our feelings and emotions may be, as sophisticated as our sense of intuition may be, as knowledgeable as we may be,we can still make the wrong choices. That's why for those who believe in God, the best option is to seek for God's guidance while searching for a partner. Ask him for the right person. Fast for it if possible. Yes. If  you can fast and pray for money and education why not for something that will decide if you are going to be happy or nof, and also decides the future of your unborn children. You can also go for the spiritual guidance of spirituality experts. That's it.
So this is the mistake most young people make in marriage nowadays. Most are regretting now because of it. Don't be like them. Build and work on yourself now for the happiness and joy of your future spouse, and then follow the right processes to choose the man or woman. That's the recipe for the perfect union. Thanks for reading.

Yours Lovingly Aloysius Mbaba.