Another Notch on the Wall

         Another year older, but debatable if I have gotten wiser. In the grand scheme of things, the answer is most likely yes, but it doesn't feel that way often. In short, I was, and still am, not prepared.

         Had some steamed buns because they are easy to make. I'm not into celebrating my own birthdays. As time went on, the enthusiasm of getting older also faded. I pretty much stopped caring after the age of 25.

         Growing up, nobody in my family celebrated birthdays that much. The exceptions were my grandparents reaching the age of 80. Those had more to do with longevity than the actual birthdays. Well, at least one of them is still alive today well into his 90s.

         But of course, this doesn't change the fact that I still like some delicious dessert every now and then. A birthday seems to be the perfect excuse for that. My fondest part is actually having a small gathering with family and friends. It's nice to catch up with people face to face, especially since the entire Covid fiasco.


         Going back to not feeling prepared, I can say, with all honesty, that I still don't feel like I know exactly what I'm doing. It's amusing to look back at what the 14-year-old me thought of the 19-year-old Mormon missionary. I thought they had it all together, being in an unfamiliar place and all.

         By the time I was in their shoes, I often sat on the chair in my room chuckling that I had no idea what I was doing. The only good quality I picked up from that experience was to be self-motivated to do things.

         Even today, I find being an adult challenging. There are so many things to become acquainted with in the hectic society. From learning about taxes to purchasing your first home. The easy way out would have been doing what many are doing: making suboptimal decisions. Worse, not care at all and live in a colossal mess.

         As a parent, I have frequent chuckles at myself for being unsure of how to handle the toddlers. Either my parents were great at looking like they knew what they were doing, or I missed some things along the way.

         As I get older, I find myself relating to fictional characters like Squidward and Shrek more and more. Is this the natural progression of things? Or, is this the result of an unrelenting society that demands too much of your time?

         Well, wake me up when I care, and get out of my swamp.

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