Digital art made using CC license images from 1 & 2
So... what is new in Derptown this week?
Well to be fair this story is kinda old news, but it is still trending on the derp scale, 100% moron approved news straight to your reactive lizard brain, no thought needed, do not pass go, do not collect $100.
Lifeguards Save People In English Channel!!!
A fckn disgrace of course. Lifeguards doing their job! They should be shot!
Only non-brown/beige/blue -- yes you heard me right, those fckn blue Na'vi coming over here and taking our jobs, with their oddly cat-like faces and strange sexual ways -- only the great and the good citizens of Blighty should be saved by our publicly funded lifeguards.
Let em all Drown!!!
Is what Nigel Farage, the former UKIP leader and seven-time failed parliamentary candidate meant when he posted a photo on Twitter of the Ramsgate RNLI lifeboat full of refugees.
Nigel said: “Sadly the wonderful RNLI in Kent has become a taxi service for illegal immigration, to the dismay of all involved. What a state of affairs”.
Ermmmm, isn't a lifeboat service meant to save lives?
How about this Nigel - likes to stir up shit to desperately remain somehow relevant - Farage, I'll punch you from the deck of a Sealink ferry to take a Wim Hof style dip in the freezing English channel, and lets see how quickly you change your tune about the wonderful RNLI adopting a discretionary policy on who they save.
But here is the thing... the derp nestled at the heart of this story.
It is a non-story.
It isn't something worth talking about, let alone reading, thinking, foaming at the mouth about... it is bunk, pure and simple. A manufactured crock of shit dreamed up by a defunct and 'hopefully' soon to be irrelevant politician.
I think it is clear which side of the bread I butter my political toast... I spread my butter from an old rusty tin can with the worn out label of anarchism 🤣 But regardless of political, or apolitical leanings, the issue is that anyone took even the slightest bit of notice of this idiotic story. I still maintain that one sentence/thought/reaction is all that is needed to sail serenely through this hurricane of Derp, safe in the eye of the storm; Life Guards Save People In English Channel. There is no story, that is their job.
What the fuck is wrong with the Derple of this world? Are we all so blurry eyed from the crack come down of Trump's tweetblasting Derp that we need to start chewing on the roaches in the ashtray to try and get a high?
As per usual all the Derpheads were supplied a crack pipe preloaded with Derp from both sides of the political pond. Lets take a look at headlines from both the Daily Mail and The Guardian.
Many might say... "but raj808, look at the headline about 3,000% rise in donations to the RNLI. Surely that means all this debate is a good thing!"
Or
"Raj808 you're having the wool pulled over your eyes by the liberal elite, the same liberal elite who are funding the RNLI to ferry immigrants over here."
My answer...
"Derp de derp te tiddly tum."
Makes about as much sense to me as sitting up on your high horse because a national service that saves lives suddenly got funded massively off the back of a racists tweet. Or on the flip side of Derp, getting insanely riled up by your hatred until you believe something that is out and out horseshit, from a national newspaper.
This type of media storm serves two purposes, to sell newspapers and to constantly keep people jumping from one Derp story to another. Every day/week/month, whatever the timeframe might be, these types of story that don't deserve the column space repeatedly find traction.
And so the dance is danced. Sides are picked, stances taken and people on both sides sit in a smug little bubble, suspending their disbelief for the sake of feeling secure in this world, ignoring the real issues that could/would bankrupt certain governments and their arms trading donors.
Once again, the questions that should be asked, the things that address the cause of increased immigration and people seeking asylum, are drowned out by the two sides of the Derp narrative.
You get the picture... take a stance don't examine the causes, because maybe then a solution might be found and that isn't any fun. If we've no one to hate and nothing to get riled about what do we do? Maybe take a close hard look at ourselves, and that illusion of security would crumble.
I'm completely aware of the irony of writing this rant about the Derp I'm saying is a non-story. It is entirely possible that I've taken a little hit on the Derp pipe today. But unfortunately you have to partake in a little derp to reveal the derp... if that even makes sense 😂
So remember ya'll, smoking a bowl of Derp-crack is bad for yo health. Just say no!
The alternative is to continue like this 👇... and god love our poor lifeboat men and women if we do.
Tune in next week for more DERP and a satirical poke at whatever story has caught the attention of the Derp-Cadets currently splurging their outrage on soc media.
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