August 10th
Today I thought of her, although I always think of her, today I evoke her with more intensity.
I write a diary with all the heaviness in the world, only six months ago I lost the woman I love. She was a unique girl, with curly hair and an irresistible smile.
“So the gentleman is inviting me to go to the mountain," Lorianis had the habit of rolling her hair in a flirtatious way. “Instead of eating ice cream and strolling along the boulevard," her lips were as red as blood and appetizing to kiss.
“That's right, I hope you don't mind," I said nervously, I think I even stuttered.
“I'm an adventurer gentleman, I'm the storm that whips your mind if you are willing to try the bolts of lightning.”
I spent my time in nature, it was my first love. So it was logical for me to invite her to enjoy my hobbies. I still remember those dark oval eyes that left me stupidly mesmerized.
August 12th
I wandered through the desert, in the arid sea of sand. The sun was relentless and the heat was its lapdog. My feet often feel like giving out and burying me is a good option. However, Lorianis would not have wanted it.
We had seven dates, all in different places in nature.
"You take a picture of me like this, that the sunset lights have faded and the only light left is from my flashlight" She took off her bikini top, and in the darkness, I visualized her round breasts. "Ready?"
I nodded like an idiot, still giddy as a child.
She took off all her clothes. Thus I became her painter and she the canvas.
The waves echoed, the saltpeter entered my nostrils, and the wind circulated the bluff. It was time.
After taking the pictures I approached her when she was dressed.
“I thought you would come to me when you saw me naked," it had started to rain. “I guess I did something wrong," her lips were still suggestive to me. “What is it?" she said when I held her back.
“ I want to tell you something urgently, and if I don't say it now, I'll never be able to say it.
I love you too much. I won't ask you if you like me too, I just wanted you to know. When I go out with you nature shines with a decorum difficult to describe; and no matter if the feeling is mutual, I don't want to lose you, because now without you in my traveling life the world is nothing.”
She was bewildered for a moment. I feared my declaration would be rejected. However, the sunset lights with their intermingled colors witnessed the first kiss.
“I want to be with you too, sucker!” her lips were exquisite, the breath of her mouth melted me.
We spent 16 years together.
August 17th
I’m in the middle of the desert, looking for the Hadaya Tadhkaria Oasis, a mythical place of incalculable beauty. Few people have been there, often by accident and not by merit. Contrary to me, I go desperate.
I’m not capable of taking my life, even if it is empty and lonely, even if the beauty loses color and gray envelops my sight.
I had heard among the only people who saw it, that they felt they lost something of themselves and were reborn in another person. As if taking off a dark, the black weight would set them free. And I wanted to be free of my grief, I wanted to find a way to live without it, without feeling the oppression when I remember it.
“Hello, Knight!" it was Lorianis above me, but I felt that she was not the same. “He almost died of starvation in the desert! I had to bring him in.”
No, it wasn't my Lorianis. It was her face, but her body glowed a blinding gold. With a golden torso and ostrich legs, she was not my beloved.
“What are you?" I interrupted her in the middle of her speech.
“I'm Taltahim Aldhikrayat, or if you want Tadhkir. And you are in my domain” there was annoyance on her face. “I have saved your life, so you must repay me. A favor is repaid with another favor- the lips were those of my beloved.”
When I was about to kiss her, she pushed me away.
“If you kiss me, you must give me one of your greatest memories. That is the payment.”
I almost fell out of bed. I quickly turned away from the creature.
“Why do you have the face of my beloved?”
Tadhkir smiled sweetly at me.
“So that's what it was, knight. Many see brothers, fathers, mothers, and even teachers, but I have never come across someone who saw her beloved in my face.” She waved her bird's feet and seemed to dance. “However, you will lose your most precious memory and it will have its consequences. Everything connected to that memory will perish into oblivion.”
“I can't leave?” I feared the answer would be no.
And the Tadhkir affirmed it by shaking her head.
“You are free to roam my lands, but you may not leave or you will die in the desert," the creature departed to leave me in my solitude.
December 20th
I have read the previous pages of my diary, but I don't remember anything of the previous. Was I Lorianis' boyfriend? Do I remember the seven dates, but not proposing to her to have a relationship? I don't understand, what was I doing in the desert scornful of her death if we were never anything.
I visited her grave and even talked to her parents. That caused me more bewilderment. They indicated to me that we were a couple. What is going on?
I will resolve to go back to the desert to find out.
