I didn’t know until I overheard Aunt Rina and my mom talking that she had cancer. She never told me. But every time I heard from Aunt Rina, I felt weak, broken, and shattered, especially after witnessing her deteriorating condition. I cried and thought I would be completely alone once she went. But I am making myself strong in front of her. In fact, it is so comforting to live in an illusion, and I am doing the same.
After meeting the doctor, I felt like flying to my mother, hugging her, and never leaving her alone. But now I feel good that I did not do so. If an illusion can give a person a peaceful death, then why not let that illusion persist? I felt as if I would fall down after seeing my mom’s face. I kept thinking that most mothers have a soft heart and are full of love and emotions. I always felt that mothers were made of different metal and not of flesh and blood. Now, I felt that my mother always stood as my shield. And now this... Oh God, I wanted to cry but kept my calm. I did not want to make her weak.
Meanwhile, Tina, the mother of Jimmy, was thinking, "It was the innocent eyes of little Jimmy and the firm grip of his tiny hands on my arm that stopped me from doing that cowardly act and gave me the strength to face the world." Since then, I have been living every moment with Jimmy. Image
I was so tormented when Jimmy went abroad for higher education. Even when Jimmy kept saying the same thing repeatedly: "Mother, I will not leave you, but I will study here." But I knew that only a few get such an opportunity. He had reached this position on his own, and my weakness would have stopped his progress. I did not want to put the shackles of my love on him and stop his growth by keeping him here. No, I couldn’t be so selfish. "
As I was entering the ward, I overheard Aunt Rina comforting my mom, "But it was not so easy for you to send him off, sister." Yes, my mom was saying, "You don’t know that boy looks strong, but your illness has broken him from the inside within a few days. "
"I know. I am his mother. That’s why I’m telling you to take care of him. "
"I wanted to send him off happily, just as I had sent him off abroad. The way I kept myself strong was by thinking that wherever my son is, he is happy and doing his job. I just wanted to convince him that, instead of suffering further, his mother should leave this world peacefully in her full consciousness. "
I stood there like a statue. My mind could not think properly. My body was not moving an inch, so my mother was on the brink of leaving this world. I wanted to cry, but kept quiet.
I regained consciousness, exited the ward, and drank a glass of cold water. My body and mind felt some relief, and my mind had become somewhat active. I could feel that my mother had been falling apart from the inside for so many years, but she showed no signs of her illness. Now, I felt how she stood like a strong shield in front of me. She was afraid of becoming weak, not for herself, but for me.
Now I know all about her illness and feel sorry for her. I’m broken and crying as I watch her deteriorate.
But I am making myself strong in front of her. Living in an illusion can be very reassuring. After meeting the doctor, I felt like going to my mother and hugging her. But now I feel it was good that I did not do so. If an illusion can give a person a peaceful death, then why not allow that illusion to persist?
I took a deep breath and moved slowly towards my mother’s room again. This time I did not stop or hesitate to go near the curtain, but removed the curtain and entered. Seeing me in front, the conversation between my mother and Aunt Rina stopped. Now, I am ready to face any situation. The conversation had probably reached a point where both of them had moist eyes.
I completely ignored the moist eyes of my mother, moved towards Aunt Rina, and hugged her. What are you doing, Aunt Rina? You are like a child, and you cry over everything. Look at the mother! She is a steel-hearted woman! Look at her the way she faced storms in her life. But she did not get distracted at all and came out stronger. Why, you didn’t tell me anything, mother? "
Saying this, I took a step forward and hugged my mother, keeping my arms around her, controlling her, sensing her heartbeats, and wrapping her around my chest until I was sure that she had wiped her moist eyes by now. Then I kissed her forehead proudly. Suddenly, a miracle happened. A few moments ago, the face of my mother, drenched in tears, was now glowing with confidence. The familiar smile returned to her face.
She raised her head and proudly turned her eyes towards Aunt Rina. Her eyes were saying, "Look at my brave son."
And I was thinking, "Look at my unlikely hero. I love you, mom. "