In my childhood, growing with mummy Nancy, my aunt was like going through a thick forest. Every day with her was like going through a thicket of criticism. One thing that baffled me most was that her daughter’s misdeeds went unnoticed but my every action seemed to fall short in her eyes. Regardless, I learnt to deal with her negativity, allowing it to slide off me like water off a duck's back.
She was my mum's sister and my mum thought me living with her sister was safe enough. The village was a calm one but her constant scolding and unfriendly attitude towards me cast a dark shadow over our peaceful surroundings. Despite her harsh treatment, I remained resilient, refusing to let her disdain define me.
I wasn't getting tired of her everyday getting on my nerves. With my parents and siblings in the city, I found peace in the freedom of village life. I didn't like the lifestyle of being confined indoors to stare at the TV screen. I preferred the freedom of exploring the forests for firewood with my friends, hearing stories during moonlight, and going out with my friends to fetch “achi" seeds for soup.
Her mean treatment meant only one thing "you are not my child, so I can treat you how I like" it was so clear that I understood it even at that tender age. But I refused to let that get through me. I had elderly people who advised me to return to my parents, some encouraged me to tell my parents how she treated me. All I agreed to do whenever my parents visit but the joy of exploration was more powerful than what my aunt thought she was doing to me.
Once I needed moments of freedom, I employed a clever tactic, using my cousin, Nancy as a diversion to escape my aunt's watchful eye. "Go and tell aunt that we want to go and fetch firewood and “achi” seed," my cousin would happily run to relay the message to her which always ends up being a blessing on my part. I seized precious moments of independence, exploring the village and seizing opportunities to earn money.
"Mary, make sure you fill that can with achi before returning to this house. Nancy, take your bath while we go to Eke market," without her knowing she has actually granted me my wish. Immediately I got the can and ran straight to the road. The village provided me with so many opportunities of sourcing for my own money at a very tender age. The bushes were my best friends as there were lots of fruits and seeds on high demand to find and sell.
One morning after doing my chores, she stepped outside the room and spotted me sitting in the corridor playing, her face turned red. "Queen without a crown, what do you think you are doing? Instead of you getting yourself busy, you are wasting your time here," she scolded.
"I'm done with everything so I said I should get my blood warned by doing this," I replied with my gaze directly fixed to hers.
"Will you get your useless self off there and go fetch water."
"My body is not useless, besides we have enough water in the house. I'm the only person that does all the chores in this house but you don't see what I do as anything," I responded back to her refusing to let her twisted face scare me. She was surprised to see me respond that way to her.
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Hours passed into silence, I felt like a winner, I was proud of myself, she did everything by herself refusing to get me involved. After her cooking, she dished the food, dished her daughter's and started eating hers. Still with the peacock feeling, I walked boldly to get my food only for my aunt to get the door locked. She started beating me with her bare hand. The pain was severe, I struggled trying to stop her from hitting me. With a fierce and twisted hit, she mistakenly hit my eyes and blood gushed.
"Oh my God! Mary can you see? I'm in trouble oo!!!" those were all I could hear my aunt say in a very fearful tone. My dress was filled with blood and my right eyes closed. She quickly opened the door and began pleading with me to try to open my eyes. I refused to stop crying, my voice grew louder than it was when the door was still locked.
As she went back inside to get water to rise off the blood and know what action to take next, I opened one of my eyes and ran out of the house. With my dress stained, I ran to my mom's friend, a nurse and when she saw me bleeding, she paused everything and rushed to me instantly. My aunt who knew this could be the possible place I would be rushed down there and saw me.
"You are lucky mummy Nancy, if not for how sensitive our eyes are, she would have been a blind girl by now," Nurse Nkiru said in a calm but angry tone.
"I didn't mean to, I was only trying to correct her."
"Have never seen you correct Nancy but you correct Mary every second, minute and hour. Walls have ears and I have heard so much about how you treat this girl. It's high time I reach out to her mom to know what is going on.
"I don't want to stay again, I want to go and meet my parents. Mummy Nancy won't let me have a good time with my friends, she treats me like a slave. I won't stay again," I said even when I didn't mean those ways. As her maltreating came to light, I knew that was the only opportunity to speak for myself.
Immediately my aunt heard those she began begging like a little kid who doesn't want her cake to be taken away from her. She promised to turn a new leave and I was shocked to see her in that way. She knew I was an assest to her even without her saying it out.
"You have heard what she said, she is remorseful and promised it won't happen again. She won't do it again, have you heard me?" Nurse Nkiru said, trying to convince me to stay.
While smiling inwardly I aired out again like I wasn't concerned with their pleadings "if she touches me next time, or maltreats me again, I will run away from that house. I'm tired of all the criticism and hatred. I will run away, I promise."
"It hasn't gotten to that, I'm assuring you this won't happen again," I accepted even with the fear that her kind words might be just because of the presence of nurse Nkiru and would eventually turn opposite when she got to her own interior.
In the aftermath of the incident, my aunt's attitude transformed. Gone were those days of relentless criticism; instead, she began to recognize my efforts and treat me with respect. Skeptical at first, I later embraced the change, loving the sense of acceptance.
Despite the whole experiences endured, I emerged stronger and more resilient, with the knowledge that true strength lies in standing strong in the face of adversity. After I left my aunt's house for my secondary school education, I embraced a future guided by the wisdom gained from letting negativity roll off me like water off a duck's back. She's still one of my best aunts, sometimes we act ignorantly thinking that's the best solution what's standing before us.