Growing up, I was the type of guy who didn't want to be friends with ladies, I even made up my mind not to get married and live a priestly life. Trust me, I didn't have anything against ladies, I was just that way. Most of my male friends were also that way, so I didn't see anything wrong in not liking girls. We didn't want girls to come close to where we were sitting, we didn't want them to touch anything that belonged to us. Looking back now, I find it quite funny.
I wasn't even interested in Phoebe the self-proclaimed school princess. Some of my classmates liked her and would do almost anything to get her. Well, my friends and I were not like that. We didn't see anything special in her.
We all stuck to the idea of not getting married, not until something amazing happened. I was the first person out of my friends to break out of this mindset. It all started when my best friend, David invited me to his 15th birthday party. According to David's mum “parties are also boring without girls.” so, she invited some girls from the church. Yes, David had told us there'd be girls at the party, but I wasn't expecting this much.
Everything was going perfectly well. Everyone was busy doing what they love; some were dancing, eating, and playing games. My friends and I were playing nine-ball when a beautiful girl, well I learned her was Shania, walked in.
Unlike other girls, her hair was Mercury-red and it tumbled over her shoulder, she had a shapely figure which was stem-thin. Her slender waist didn't surprise me as much as her pink lips. I couldn't help but watch how her slender shape complemented her vibrant eyes and glowing skin. She must be an angel, I said to myself. Her shiny red shoes matched the dress she was wearing. I couldn't help but keep staring at her. She caught me. Our eyes met, and I yelped at being caught. Her eyebrows blinked twice and her pink lips moved upwardly as if to invite me over.
I wanted to go over to her side, but my friends were there, I didn’t want to break the gang rule; never like a girl. I couldn’t talk to her, even though she kept staring at me. Trust me, I’m sure she also fancied me. That’s why I keep asking myself, what happened? What did I do wrong? How did it go wrong?
Soon enough, the party came to an end and I said nothing to her. I just kept staring. When she was leaving, I waved at her and she responded with a gentle smile; a beautiful smile that melted my heart. Her eyes crinkled at the edges and the corner of her lips turned upwards. She had perfect dentition. I loved it.
For the rest of the day, I kept thinking about her; imagining the awesome things we’d do if she was with me. What if she knows how to play Call of Duty? (my favorite game)
To my biggest surprise, guess who showed up at my school the following day? Yes! It was Shania. A newbie in my class! The mathematics teacher introduced her to the class and we all welcomed her. She looked prettier in her school uniform. Her long legs were spotless. This time, she wasn’t wearing lipstick, but her lips were still pink.
I was super excited. I loved the way I was feeling. If only I knew I was walking down a lonely road, I could have stopped myself.
She wasn’t the shy type. She loved asking questions and talking boldly. Everyone liked her. Well, except Phoebe. I’m sure she was jealous because someone was replacing her.
For the first five days, we kept staring at each other. I thought of different ways to talk to her, but I couldn’t muster enough courage to walk up to her. I was a novice, I didn’t know how to talk to girls. But guess what happened the next week? Shania walked up to me and asked if we could be friends. I couldn’t refuse. Who would refuse? She may not have had an audible voice, but what do you expect when two pinky, soft and beautiful lips meet? A saccharine voice.
I felt like I betrayed my friends, but really, what’s wrong with talking to girls. “There’s nothing bad in talking to girls. We were just being kids. We have to grow up.” I screamed at my friend one Friday after school.
Over time, Shania and I got closer. I helped her with her literature assignments, and in turn, she helped me with my Mathematics assignments. She was very good at Mathematics. Thoughts of her kept me up at night. I kept staring at her display picture on Facebook. I was ready to do anything for her. I even bought snacks for her during breaks. My friends laughed at me, but I didn’t care.
I wanted to tell Shania how I felt about her. Should I write a letter or tell her physically? Well, I didn’t have to because she wrote me a love letter. You won’t believe I still have it in my wardrobe. I hope to find the strength to throw it away one day. She told me she wanted to be more than just friends. She said she wanted to be the love of my life and the moment I opened the letter I should consider myself her boyfriend. I was so happy.
Things seemed perfectly alright. We made a habit to send love letters, even when we were in school. We kept each other’s company. I enjoyed every minute I spent with her. Then suddenly, things changed when the school went on break and that's when I lost Shania. When we resumed again, Shania refused to talk to me. I tried talking to her a few times but she would walk out on me. It was really painful. This continued for years and I saw hell.
Even on graduation day, I tried talking to her and she walked out again. I needed answers: What did I do wrong? Why did she choose to hurt me?
Well, it wasn't until a year after we all left high school that I realized she was secretly dating my best friend and he asked her not to talk to me.
Even though I know this, today I still want to ask her, Shania, what did I do to you? Why did you hurt me so badly?