Couple Hundred Meters Away


He was on his way to his home after a long day at work on a warm winter day.

He thought about what he would do when he got home. He will be having dinner with his girlfriend, "The dinner should be ready by now" he thought. Then, they would probably watch a movie together. It was a stable routine that he content. He was actually eager to do what he is doing most of the time. He was only a couple hundred meters away from his home when he saw this lady coming across. She had curly black hair. She was wearing a grey beret and a blue coat. He couldn't see her face because of the mask. He sensed something he couldn't name in her, but he wasn't going to stare like a maniac. He gave her a short glimpse and then kept his head down as she walking towards him. He was about to walk past to her when she said "Excuse me..."

He stopped, said "Yes..?"

"Can I ask you a question?" She said.


-Are you also having thoughts about killing yourself?

Did he actually heard that? He appalled. He could feel his heartbeat rising up. But he calmed himself.

-What do you mean?

-I don't know, like ending your life, instead of bear all this...

He understood that there is something wrong with her. He could easily keep walking and ignore her; but he didn't want to... He felt an urge to keep talking. He thought about a psychology trick that therapists do; which is asking questions and letting her talk.

-Do you mean pandemic and all these restrictions?

-No... Yes! No... I mean, you give a promise, and then you don't keep your promise by justifying it with all these excuses... Why does everyone lie?

-I don't know, I don't understand what you mean... Who lies?

-Do you?

-Do I, what?

-Do you think about suicide?

-No. I had though, but I don't now. It's okay to think about it, everyone does that at some point... But can you be more specific? What did you mean by saying everyone lies, who lies?

He thought about calming her by saying that suicidal thoughts is a common thing, but he wasn't so sure now, if he's trying to calm her or just being honest...

-There is this guy... He told me that he is going to get a divorce... But he's not... He keeps making excuses, keeps lying...

-Maybe you shouldn't see him anymore...

-I will not. Just because I'm a naive person doesn't mean you can play with me as you like... The foreigners aren't like that... I had a friend from Norway who lived here... He wasn't like that at all...

-Maybe it's because of the environment then... Maybe you should be more careful about who your friends are...

He had no idea what he's doing.

-Maybe... And I only got married so soon because my parents died so young... But that doesn't mean you can play with me so easily... Are you a liar too?

-No, I'm being completely honest with you.

"That might the first honest answer I gave..." he thought.

-People in this neighborhood are so evil... They don't care, they don't think about anyone else but themselves, they lie so easily... Do you think something wrong with me?

-I don't know... Maybe you just didn't find the right people around you.

She stopped and took a good look at him. That was the first time that she shut up for a while. He could sense that she was having thoughts...

-Do you think I'm pretty?

He couldn't say anything for a couple of seconds. She took her mask off.

-Take a good look... Do you think I'm pretty?

She was okay... She wasn't the type that you'd want to have a second look. He thought that he should be honest, no matter what... He thought that's what she was needed.

-You're okay... You're decent, I mean... You're okay...

She wore her mask back on. She was disappointed, as he was expecting...

-Do you think something wrong with me? Do you think I should get help?

-Do you feel good? If you do, then you don't... But if you don't feel good, then you can get some help. I think it wouldn't harm you to get some help...

"Shit..." he thought.

-Okay... Thank you. Sorry to bother you like this...

-No worries. I hope I could help even just a little bit...

-Good night.

-Good night.

There it is... He scared her off as he expected right after he said she should get some help... Was he being too honest? Was there a limit on honesty? "How come I scared her off when she started the conversation by saying, Do you think about killing yourself?" he thought. But there she went... To the unknown of the dark streets... Is he going to see her again? Did he actually helped? Even a little bit? Why did he even tried to engage in the first place? Which movie are they going to watch tonight?

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