The concept of friendship has always been a foreign one to me. As a child, I moved around too often to ever maintain friendships, rarely staying in one place for longer than a year. As I grew older, it then became an issue of backstabbing, manipulation, even stealing from me. Progressing into adulthood, things became even bleaker, as the issues escalated into using me for everything: rides in my car, covering work shifts, money, sex, drugs... It became difficult trying to navigate people's two-faceness...
It was around the most difficult point in my relationships, during the beginning of my 20s, that I actually met my best friend, Melissa.
(All images are my own)
We were both at a mutual point in our lives where we wanted to move away from home, from our families, to begin our own lives! Basically we were starting off our relationship as roommates. We already knew we shared a goal of moving out together; however, the more time we spent together, the more we realized how much we had in common. For one thing, our birthdays were only 3 days apart, so we already shared a similar personality, a similar perspective. For another, not only did we have a passion for music, but we even enjoyed the same songs. We also had a love for freedom: we wanted to have careers that we could enjoy, like raising an Angora bunny farm! 🐰 It truly felt like we were two peas in a pod. Melissa brought me out of my shell--we even performed music live together!
However, one thing that was not Melissa's strong point, was her choice of partners in romantic relationships and her unhealthy dependency on them. She entered a toxic relationship, the two of them bickered constantly, and eventually they brought drugs into the picture, which only heightened the negativity. Noticing the physical changes with Melissa was the most obvious, and most disturbing. She went from being under 200 lbs. to 140 lbs. in a matter of months. She stopped doing anything, lost motivation for everything, except drugs. There was just constant anger and negativity...
What was most heartbreaking was the deterioration of our friendship. I saw a young woman brimming with positivity and joy, become the shell of the person she used to be. Melissa became a skeleton. And nothing that I, nor any of her loved ones did, seemed to help; Melissa did not want to change. So, I had to walk away...
I loved Melissa like my sister. I still care very deeply for her and worry about how she may be today. In fact, I know that she has recently gotten engaged to her boyfriend/fiance. I do wish her nothing but the best.. Even if we never end up reconnecting again, I am grateful to have had the chance to experience our friendship, experience Melissa as a person, when I did.
